Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Affair defined is easy.

Any action or communication that you couldn't have your spouse present while doing. ;)

I went through the same thing with my stbx. I read his e-mail (bad, I kow) when he was home is xmas and I read one from HER. The things that were in there almost ripped out my heart and it just pawned it off saying that she is just a friend and that she didn't mean anything by it. She kids like that with everyone. After we separated, i asked him about it and I told him whether or not there was anything there, they were both married people and that I thought it was very inappropriate behavior on both their parts. I also told him it was an emotional affair and that it was very disrespectful to me. I don't think she would give him the time of day physically, but she certaily stroked his ego when we were in such a rough place. I also wished my stbx nothing but misery after he wished me nothing but happiness. I hope it works out for him, the misery I mean!

wow. Thank you. I've left for vacation to a place that just seeps with peace and serenity. I am so happy to be here, surrounded by people I love....

I had typed this thread in search of someone to tell me I was wrong. I've been searching and searching for someone to tell me that he is right... I don't know why, probably from 12 years of being treated as if everything I think and everyone I know is wrong... But his "thing" with this woman started 7 years ago... and I am tired of pretending that there hasn't beensomething going on the entire time...

I had this amazing thought the other day... I'd read someone's story on here in the "things I miss the least" thread... and she said that she didn't miss the feeling of being told she was crazy when all that was happening was he was lying to her... And that is how I've been living. I've been told that I was jealous, insecure, controlling and crazy because I told him that I knew that what was going on between them wasn't right. I told him that the other day... That I was right the whole time that he'd belittled me and ridiculed me, telling me all these things that I truly believed about myself. I was constantly reading up on gaining confidence, on how not to be jealous, on how to be a more secure person. Praying to God that I could find somehow to change myself, when the entire time it wasn't me... Ohhhh it makes me angry right now. I wish I had my punching bag here on my retreat so that I could relieve some of this frustration. Maybe I'll go for a run......