Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent stud...
|
When is an affair an affair?
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts |
I posted "all I ever wanted" and got some wonderful answers, but this question is still driving me "crazy". There is still this space of insecurity that I might be in the wrong...
So when is an affair an affair? If two people who have two seperate families and are calling and collaborating to go on private vacations does that qualify as an affair? In my head it doesn't matter. They went too far just by her wanting my husband in any way that tore our family apart, and that he allowed me to leave when I gave him the choice of me or her. But, in society, am I just insecure? Really I don't think so, but I have this reassurance issue. All my family and friends have told me that there is nothing wrong with how I feel. Yet, I have this wavering feeling when it comes down to him and me. If he truly never had sex with her, then should I be more willing to try to forgive and put my family back together... None if this I can see happening. Honestly I don't think I could ever trust him again, but is that a hardline? I don't know... what are your thoughts? Posted on 07/23/08, 10:07 am |
| 13 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Advice |
| View More Posts |
There is such a thing as an emotional affair. I am not familiar enough with your situation to say that is a possibility here, but I know a good buddy of mine at work separated from his wife for a while because she was having an emotional affair with another man. 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
It's called an emotional affair..maybe it's been consumated maybe not..but it wil be. Sorry that very cynical. That's how my dumbass's started as and he ended up leaving me for her.
Personally, and I may get some flack for this, but in my mind an emotional affair is far worse than just a sexual one. They share things that they use to share with us and betray us in the worst way. Sorry that's my reader's digest version..
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I think you could benefit by both of you going to a marriage therapist alone and together. Talk to them first and find out if they are any good. Good luck to you.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Personally I think there are many different types of affairs... its in the intent of the relationship the two parties have...
Physical or Emotional affairs exist. I dont think your being paranoid if a woman who wants your husband.. is planning a get away together that doesnt include your family or hers..
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
TOTALLY agree with Tech and Sunshine. My wife had an emotional affair..an affair of the heart. It killed her to tell me about it. I think the emotional affair is the hardest because it does come from the heart and there's nothing that can be done about the way a person really feels. I don't think that you are being insecure at all..it is very hard to deal with..the betrayal and devastation. Gentle healing hugs to ya... M
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
An affair happens when one party proceeds without the other, and knows that what they are doing is wrong, or will hurt their 'partner'. This can be physical, emotional, virtual, it doesn't matter. any qualify if it in fact hurts the partner. IMHO.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I agree there are all different levels of affairs. I agree that is an emotional affair and none the less still extremely hurtful, disrespectful, and wrong. You are right to feel the way you feel. Take care of yourself and big hugs to you.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
In my mind it is not about the sex, it is about the secret relationship she was having with another man, and the lies she told me so she could spend more time with him.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
From what I can tell about your situation, you did try to forgive him and give the choice: her or you. He was the one willing to let you leave, just so he didn't have to give up this relationship, not matter if it was sexual or not. At tht point, he chose another woman over you. I'm not trying to be harsh, this is just my experience. I kept trying to figure out how maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, maybe I could just be more understanding and learn to live with it. I did (am still do somewhat) this to try t not have to deal with the pain and finality of it all. Sorry.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Partners don't just "leave" their families for the heck of it. There is almost always a person. Now, why should they admit to an affair when they can deny it. I have friends whose spouses are denying affairs even after proof with PI and phone calls, etc. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, it is a duck. Your X has caused extensive hurt to you. Reconciliation is always possible, especially for the children, but don't go in without proof of change or you're in for a long road. Why be in a hurry. Get counseling, get counseling for your kids, be cautious and keep growing into the person you want to be. Hugs to you.
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Advice |
As many of you know, I just found out that my husband has been having an affair for he past 7 years. What kind of …
I got caught I recently had an affair with another woman whose family was a very good friends of my wife and family. …
Okay I'm neew at this and I'm sure you all have already discussed this subject over and over again, but here's my …
