Breakups & Divorce Support Group

I was always under the impression that the lack of sex was a symptom of a diff problem in the relationship...but then again my degree expired yesterday..what do I know???

Yes.

In my marriage sex played a huge part in the eventual ending. I thought we were in the prime of our lives and it should a constant. Our roles reversed and I became more aggressive and he wanted to "think" about it before we did it. this ended in us having it at an average of twice a month. I became very frustrated and felt he didn't love me enough or wasn't attracted to me. I'd even ask him and he would turn me down. A lot of our arguements would have been alleviate had we just had more sex.

Sex, money and children, are all big relationship issues. Cause stress...and I believe can effect how we relate to one another.
I never bought the symptom theory...sometimes other problems are a symptom of lack of sex...sometimes lack of sex is a symptom of something else.
I don't think it is so black and white.

My stbx blamed me for all of our sexual issues.
And I bought it.
He'd turn me down and shut me out.
Our sex life was like the rest of our life, all about him or it didn't exist.
Good riddance!

Throughout my marrage there were many problems, drinking,mental and physical abuse, no respect for me,other people and golf came before our marrage. Then the 14yr affair. As one thing happened after the other it became harder and harder to have sex with my H. I lost something along the way, something that was so damaged I just couldn't seem to get it back. I found it increasingly harder with each new abusive thing he did to me. Emotionally it left my empty, did it, when we did do it, just so he wouldn't be mad at me. It was a relief when he was done, I didn't have to worry for awhile. It made me feel used, disrespected, the thought made me cringe.
For me lack of sex was a symtom of deep problems in the marrage, unfortunatly he didn't understand that then and he still doesn't get it. After I found out about the affair we stayed together, I would cry almost everytime we had sex, he would say " Why are you crying " WTF, must have been the onions I peeled for supper!!!!!!!!!!
One more marrage ended in divorce. What a crying shame.

I'm Dr Phil. If the sex is fine, then it makes up a small part of your relationship.

Sex was never an issue in our marriage. If i intitiated sex, my wife would respond, and vice versa. At first, she would ask outright when she wanted sex, but I explained how I was more responsive if she just initiated it.

My marriage ended b/c of his numerous affairs but he also wanted it from me too. When I quit we were over, so I guess sex was 100% at fault in my situation.

Sex what is this sex you speak of. OK if your not having any its not a problem but that is the problem. Its not just sex its intimacy and warm affection for each other. To not be touched is a tough thing to go with out and it does not even have to be sex. Sex is the ultimate way to express how you feel about someone and at the same time to make them feel good. If you don't have some of that in your relationship then how can you really be in love. I am not saying there is a quota and you should be doing it x times a week but it has to be at least a part of the relationship and you both have to want it other wise it's just a less meaningful.

Sex (or lack thereof) was 100% my husband's reason for wanting out. My question is, how does a woman give herself sexually when she doesn't feel like she is cared about, wanted, and appreciated. I was molested (not raped) by a relative growing up and my husband thinks I should "just get over it". I can't be intimate with him when I don't feel safe and cared about. All I ever wanted was to be just a little more important than his frickin' computer games.