Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent stud...
|
Why did the chicken cross the road?
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts |
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he ' s acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken ' s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ' the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? Posted on 05/07/08, 12:05 am |
| 22 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts |
It was stapled to the Punk Rocker?
Sorry, showing my age....... 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
HA HA HA They were all really funny replies though ...I though the just wanted to get to the other side. (da dum dum)
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
"to get to the left from the right, hoooh" LOL!! Sorry had to quote the movie Stripes!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
The chicken crossed the road because it was codependent and wanted to fit in with the other chickens that were crossing the road.......no?
Ok The chicken crossed the road because he was a love and sex addict and was in a relationship. He saw what seemed a more attractive chicken across the road and left the other one behind in order to pursude the new love interest. After a few weeks, turns out the chicken was like the chicken he left at the other side of the road. So he was left miserable and alone and was confused and cried. SO he tried to reconcile with the 1st chicken only to get plowed by a semi truck crossing over again when he shouldve stayed in the first place. The End
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
LMAO!
and TheRoad's comment... was very interesting! LOL I think I know that "chicken"...
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
FREUD: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
GUANTANAMO GUARD: Give me ten minutes with the chicken, a black hood, and a German Shepherd, and I'll find out. BUDDHA: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?" JOHN F. KENNEDY: Ask not what road this chicken crossed. Ask what road you can cross for that chicken. EEYORE: Doesn't matter. Probably will get run over anyway. Just like a chicken. Fal-de-ral and merriment. I'm going to eat my thistles. DAVID LETTERMAN: Ahhh, yes, chickens. Ha HA! How 'bout THAT, there Paul? You ever eat any chickens? Yessirree. Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand tonight's top ten list. Ha HA! The top ten reasons the New York chicken did NOT cross the road. That's right. Did NOT cross the road. Ha HA! BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD: Huh huh huh huh huh . . . . . you said 'road'. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road? "Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it. PLATO: For the greater good. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it frigging wanted to. That's the frigging reason. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I'm liking this topic.
Kansas Board of Education: An unknown supernatural entity made the chicken cross the road at an unknown time in an unknown way for an unknown reason. Intelligent crossing is a scientific term. Greenpeace: The genetically modified chicken crossed the road to contaminate the non-GM chickens on the other side of the road with genetically modified DNA. This has created a “superchicken” that can cross roads at will without ever being hit by a truck. Alien abductee: The chicken awoke to find it was paralyzed and surrounded by aliens that teleported it out of its bedroom, over the road to the mother ship where they performed experiments on its eggs. Bob Park: NASA terminated the chicken’s road crossing expedition so it can concentrate on the useless Space Station and its new priority of sending chickens to the Moon. Larry King: Wow! That’s amazing! How does he do it? Bill O’Reilly: There is a war on chickens crossing the road - part of the secular progressive agenda to get chickens and crossing roads out of the public square. Because if you can question why chickens need to cross roads then you can pass secular programs, like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will and compulsory gay marriage for everyone. Pat Robertson: I’d like to say to the good chickens by the side of the road: if you are crossing the road and a car is about to run you over: don’t turn to God, you just rejected Him. And don’t wonder why He hasn’t helped you when the car hits you: you just voted God out of your lives. But don’t forget, Jesus loves you. Prince Charles: We farm using the principles of biodynamics, a form of farming in which chickens are treated with homeopathic remedies rather than antibiotics, and the signs of the zodiac determine when to cross roads.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Homer Simpson: Mmmmmm. Chicken.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Nietzche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 3 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
I'm kind of down tonight and need a good laugh. Maybe this one will help you laugh. Got any good ones? Why did …
There was a duck standing at the side of a road waiting to cross, suddenly a chicken runs up behind him and cries, …
Just a little light humor for a rainy day.... When my daughter was about 8 we were visiting with one of my …
