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Reply #1 -
05/17/08
8:58am
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Is there any hope of counseling or reconciliation at this point? Has she moved on with another ? If not , you may be able to rekindle what you all had with sincerity of your actions.. If she has moved on, You have no choice but to let go and forge ahead into a new future for yourself. Best to you, Kimmee 
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Reply #2 -
05/17/08
9:03am
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For every action there is a reaction.
To bad you grew up after you threw it all away.
At best you will have a patched up relationship. Your ex will never be the same no matter what anyone here says.
At worst you will have something you regret till the day you die.
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Reply #3 -
05/17/08
9:08am
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I doubt there is much chance of reconciliation. I am truly happy for her that she has moved on. I dont think its all that serious but she is dating and I think its going well for her. I dont want to do anything that could bring her back down. Funny how it turns out that I wanted the divorce but I think she is going to be better off. Lesson learned...you reap what you sow. At some point I am going to have to try to fix my own issues and move forward.
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Reply #4 -
05/17/08
9:58am
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After thinking about it for a minute, I have to ask; considering I am on the other side of the divorce spectrum as the one who caused it, am I welcome here? I sure hope so because I need some support. However I understand why some may not like me very much.
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Reply #5 -
05/17/08
12:01pm
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why not call and ask for a date? start over, you have nothing to lose, the worst that can happen is she says no. who knows what the future will bring. i don't mind you being here, i admire your honesty. i think it's time to stop hating yourself too, live and learn.
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Reply #6 -
05/17/08
4:21pm
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You are, at least from my pov, welcome. Particularly as you realized you made a mistake. Read the variety of topics around here about "Why don't they feel guilty?" "will they regret it?" etc, and you will see how rare that seems to be. Do you still talk to your ex? It's not out of the realm of possibility that you could reconcile, but you better make DARN sure it is what you want this time and not just do this again after a few years. Only thing worse than getting dumped once is getting dumped twice...by the same person. If you still talk to her, bring it up. I think you at least owe some honesty and groveling, at this point.
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Reply #7 -
05/17/08
4:33pm
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Of course you are welcome here. Who are we to tell someone they are not welcome here. Hey we all have made decisions that were not very smart, and have to live with it to this very day. Your testimony can actually be a blessing to others here.
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Reply #8 -
05/17/08
4:47pm
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Yes you are welcome here. As far as I am concerned. The person you were at 18 is different than who you are now. You cannot fix the past. It is over. Could you two possibly try some counciling? You don't get to do your own thing when there are children involved. Start with right now. Hating yourself is pointless. We all make mistakes and have regrets. Sounds to me as if you have certainly learned from your past. A very good thing. Is she willing to try to work things out? Your intentions at this point sound very sincere to me. Where would you like to go from here? Best of luck to you. Try to take things one day at a time. Easier said than done, I know! We will be here for you.
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Reply #9 -
05/17/08
5:02pm
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If your really the relationship back it will be like starting all over again. She was attacted to you once she will need to see the reason why. Don't ever pressure her this will push her away.
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Reply #10 -
05/19/08
9:58am
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Thanks for all the support. We live about 1000 miles apart but I talk to her frequently about our kids. We finally seem to be able to at least have a conversation without a fight. For good reason she has a lot of anger towards me and really hasnt wanted to discuss anything but things regarding the kids lately. She made a really good point to me not that long ago. Her recommendation was that I work on fixing my internal issues that got me to where I am. Its wierd but I dont understand how anyone who went through what i put her through could have the slightest bit of compassion for the person that put them through it. That is something I see from a lot of the people here at DS as well. I think all of you that have suffered the way she has due to a STBX like me need to pat yourselves on the back for still having a soul left in you.
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