Breakups & Divorce Support Group

In my case it was very painful sometimes when the kids seemed not to miss me or when I had to say goodbye at the end of the weekend especially when my oldest told me that she wanted to stay with me and not go back to her mother. The pain can be heartbreaking. I am not saying that it is the same in your case but divorce and separation tends to make kids emotionally withdrawn especially to the absent parent to protect themselves and this can hurt so badly.

it does hurt badly. it is also common that children are extremely well behaved around the "absent" parent and fall apart around the primary parent. this is true for my child. she is afraid of losing her dad so she listens to him and worrries about him. i have to deal with the expression of her emotional problems. i am her mother and happy to do this, but it is not easy. divorce is hard on children.

I don't think it's just guys. I know when my wife has gone out on dates, she leaves my 15 year old at home alone. Which is no big deal, but just rubs me wrong, so I usually spend time with him. Not that I don't on a regular basis, I just feel I should be with him while she's out gallavanting.

I think they do it because of the shame they carry.

i agree with you. that has to be the stupidest thing iv'e ever heard. he divorced you, not his children. that's crap. does this therapist have children.

The asshole told me today he doesn't have any money and he couldn't do anything with the kids but he's out every weekend. I asked him why he couldn't take them to the park and got the "Gas" excuse. I think I found my answer. He is a selfish selfcentered asshole who could care less about these kids.

My ex moved my kids 1000 miles away. I talk to them every day on the phone and I fly to visit them twice a month whenever possible. However, for the first 2 months after the seperation it was very hard for me to see them. I felt so ashamed for leaving thier mother that it was hard to face them. The problem is that only worsens the relationship. I needed to stop being selfish about avoiding my own shame and do what was right for them.

I think in part that is true - mine certainly has pulled away from his kids - what he tells me is they are adults now - 17 and 20, they don't need him, we're all right we're friends. But honestly - its an excuxe because he knows that he has hurt them - he has taken away their security - he just doesn't get it.