Breakups & Divorce Support Group

I hate the computer. I never used it until we separated. Do the rest but if I cook (besides BBQ) we'll be going out to dinner..The dogs won't even want it...

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose stbx only paid attention to me in bed. In the first few years, we did do everything together, but it didn't last. He has never thought of me first, always his friends, sports, beer, you name it.

I hope there are still some good ones left when I get ready to shop.

I took cooking classes and loooveee cooking! I would spend 3 days shopping for the ingredients and hours cooking a wonderful meal. My stbx would take a look at it, look at our daughter, and they would head out to In-N-Out burger.

I found myself at my computer keyboard thinking the same thing. I went to Bluegrass Festivals with friends, for a few years I took my daughter with me to one of them, I bought a GPS and got my son interested in geocaching with me, but when we split that went out the window. I also went to Wayne Dyer seminars when he was in NY back in the late 90s before MS got to me.

After we split I wondered how nice it would have been, or would be, if a companion wanted to do those things WITH ME. I was content with our relationship because she didn't stop me from doing things I enjoyed, she didn't care to join me, so I kept positive and felt it was nice to have a spouse not stopping me... after we split I thought it would be nice if someone would JOIN me on those things.

Then a year ago this week I met someone, who I knew 14-16 years earlier, and spent 5 days with her. She loves Wayne Dyer, did a report on him back in college two decades ago, loved going geocaching with me and made it even more fun than I was having, and the first night together I was telling her about Bluegrass Festivals and we ended up in a club that had an odd sounding group name performing... well, odd to her... made sense to me. When we walked in and saw a mandolin, stand up bass, a fiddle and banjo I figured I'd be finding out what she thought about THAT kind of music. She liked it, we even danced to it, and she came up to NY last August to join me at the festival I'm posing .avi's of on YouTube http://www.youtube.come/SagDec15 is where they'll be.

I then realized it was so much nicer to have someone who joined me, rather than just let me go on my own.


So maybe it is possible to have your cake, and eat it too... just NOT with your current partner. When people DRIFT, maybe the ones who move on, no matter how painful, are on to something!

Maybe I shouldn't have tried to make it a lifelong marathon, it failed at 23 years... but no regrets, I have good memories. Now it looks like I may be able to have even BETTER ones. Wouldn't that be nice.

I'll find out more in less than a week! The Day I've been counting down to is fast approaching!

so I guess it can go one of two ways... the reason I wasn't running out the door is I thought I had it all.. we went from Couple to Mommy and Daddy, we became a family. Yes, we Drifted... but it was comfortable most of the time. I worked nights, she 'woke' me up nearly ever night, so we did spend Some time together most every day. But ever since I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, things changed. I'm glad we're apart now. I don't miss the sex and she was the last and only I've been with all century long. LOL. No more house, no more wife, no more family, no more job, nothing left but my 14 yr old son, my total freedom like I just left my parents home, and whatever's in front... could be exciting! Starts NEXT week.

I've been having dreams nightly of doing mundane things with a man at my side. Missing companionship? It's driving me insane. My ex started sitting in front of the computer during every waking moment in 2002. I've been alone for a very long time. I know there are good men out there, and I'm going to work on being the best woman I can be so I'll be ready when I find one.

I was the same way. I played the computer everyday, come home from work and sit right down and go to town until 2am. Thats what landed me the divorce, and I can tell you now, that it was an eye opening event. I have never felt to horrible for ignoring my wife and kids, and now it might be to late.

I have one year to see what I can do, then I take her and the kids home to SC and I come back to ND where I work. I promised her I would get her home when I retired, and though I still have 10 years left until then, next summer I will bring her home if I can't win her back.

There are good men out there, some didn't start that way, but after a kick in the ass from their ex, they won't make the same mistake twice.

Hi there !

Yes I did all the things in my marriage that you describe - I cooked, cleaned and did all the children things i.e kids clubs, school trips.

I'd then pour my wife a glass of wine and just lay with her on the sofa with a movie - I planned trips out, not just with the children but with her on her own.

But she still left me for another man who can't do any of those things due to his poor health.

I'm really missing sharing my life with someone as well.

Still keep smiling lil lady

Tony - broken hearted but the smile never died :)

I always think in terms of "us" and "our" needs, not just me or my needs. A relationship is about compromise.
I miss the complicity of a partner in every way. I know it is out there. It's just a question of finding it.