Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent stud...
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Does he have grounds to ask me to pay his lawyer?
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I am so angry right now I feel like I'm about to burst!! I spoke to stbx today to discuss separation agreement. He was being a complete asshole as usual and had these demands:
1) He wants money for the engagement ring that he gave me. 2) He wants me to pay for his legal fees. Here's the story: we've only been married 1.5 years (no kids) during which he chose not to work and instead got stoned all day and flirted with other girls. I held 2 jobs and believed all his lies. When I found out what he was doing I kicked him out and filed for separation. Now he is going to try and get money out of this!!! Does anyone know if he can possibly get his demands? I called my lawyer but he hasn't returned my phone call and I'm going CRAZY!!! Posted on 05/06/08, 08:05 pm |
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First, an engagement ring is a gift of promise (and you fulfilled the promise by marrying him), it's yours. Secondly, only the court can decide who pays the legal fees, but in my case, and I was married 29 years, we each paid our own. 
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He could ask for anything he wants but that does not mean you have to agree to it.
As far as the engagement ring, it is yours free and clear. If the marriage never took place then you would have to give the ring back or give him the money for it but since the marriage did take place it belongs to you. You do not owe him a dime.
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I have no idea about the ring, but my ex is supposed to pay the legal fees for our divorce. He cheated though so it's a different situation. I guess it really depends on the state and situation. Sorry I wasn't more helpful.
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Yes, the ring was a gift so it's your's free and clear. (and make sure it's not included or counted in any settlement by the lawyers).
As for paying for his lawyer, I'm not sure about the laws in NY so I'd have to say ask your lawyer (when he calls you back) and see what he/she recommends. Good luck.
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Let him blow it, out of his A#$. I don't know your laws. But mine tried, telling me all the same things, you have listed. It did not wash, at all.I like to call it bravado. The judge does not want to hear about that. It is all about contibution to the pool, he is pulling your chain..Please, do not listen to his BS....
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Per my attorney in NC- No he can not get the money back for the engagment ring. That was a gift, before marriage. Its not even marital assets. I checked on this one before I sold mine. Attorney fees, that is standard, we asked for the same thing, however, my attorney fees are already paid. We ask that he pay them simply as a bargining chip for marital assests. I am in the same baot as you, we were only "married" a short while. Don't sweat this. Tell him to kiss your a**!
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My stbx tried to get me to pay his legal fees. Heck, he's still trying. He's also coming after me for his debt, the mortgage that he never paid, child support and any other financial stuff he can think of. He has the right to ask and I have the right to give him the finger. It will eventually all be decided by a judge. I'm just hoping that a judge can see how stupid my ex is.
Oh, and I was also told by my lawyer that jewelry was considered a gift (my ex has tried to go after the jewelry he gave me over our 12 years of marriage). I'm guessing that his new girlfriend doesn't have enough of my things - my former husband, my former house, part of my paycheck. She apparently needs ALL my leftovers - jewelry included.
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I have a cousin divorcing in NY. You definitely have grounds for divorce. STBX can ask for those things, and you can refuse those requests. A judge will likely rule in your favor.
Educate yourself on the laws and your rights in NY, before you spend any money on a lawyer. There are ga lot of good suggestions on the thread. Good luck to you. Peace
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Anyone can ask for anything they want in court. That doesn't mean they're going to get it.
Generally, there's a presumption in our legal system that each side will bear their own legal costs. There are mechanisms in place for one party, who succeeds in a lawsuit against another, to recover their attorney fees from the losing party, but that's not that common. I don't know anything about your case, but there's nothing in your post to indicate that he can get a court to order you to pay his attorney fees. The next time he says something dumb like that, why don't you just turn it right back at him? "Oh yeah? I'M going to get YOU to pay MY attorney fees!" It's meaningless posturing.
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I'm likely getting attorney fees awarded to me BUT my x did not follow through with discovery in a timely manner. We requested documents. He said that he'd give them to us. Then we'd file again. He'd give us part of what we asked for...say he didn't know that's what we meant...then says he'd get them. We'd have to file again when they never appeared...and so on and so on and so on. Even the judge made the comment that our case would have been over and settled long ago if it wasn't for my x avoiding discovery. Otherwise, I'm sure I'd be paying my own legal fees.
As for the engagement ring...that was a gift. Plain and simple.
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