Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent stud...
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The No-Contact Rule
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Just wanted to post this for those new to the board. Many of us here strongly support The No-Contact Rule. It means do not call him/her to ask how their day went, to WISH them a nice day and especially not tell them how bad YOUR day went because they're NOT there. And of course this means all the other little excuses you try to come up with for calling too! It's over! You are just prolonging the pain by staying in contact with the ex! If you have kids or some other reason that requires you to be in contact then perhaps do it by EMAIL. Trust me and trust US that have been dealing with all this awhile- it does NOT help to see them, talk to them and especially not to sleep with them! Good luck and please try to apply this rule to your life. I promise that you'll be amazed at how much better you feel by cutting the ties!
Maybe try thinking of your new DS friends as your AA/NA, etc sponsor-- when you're wanting your fix come to us! We're here to get you through it! Misti Posted on 04/14/08, 01:04 pm |
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this is fabulous misti - i think we all could use a sponsor. :) i agree - the longer you prolong it the longer you will be in pain. no excuses! and always come here - thats why we are here. :) keep this boosted - i needed the reminder and im reconciling AND been here for a year. rock on! t 
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Just wanted to bump this for those of you that might need it today.
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I did need this today... actually I needed it last night when I called him and left 3 messages...shame...
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That is one of the hardest things for me because I can't believe it's over! But we all know you're right, thank you so much! I am going to try and put this advice to work...thank you!
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I agree wholeheartedly! I stopped all contact w/my ex 6 months ago and it was only after I did that I started to truly heal. Not done healing, but well on my way.
Anything important enough to contact them about can be done through your lawyer. Stopping contact will give you a new objectivity. It will help pull you out of the mire of dysfunction (i.e. doing the same thing the same way over and over and expecting different results = definition of insanity :) I was married 39 stormy years to a narcissistic lying alcoholic so I know how hard it is to let go. But it is worth it because only then will you start to heal and get yourself back. Hugs!!!
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I needed it today! Been stopping myself from calling to yell about the "grapevine". I am being bombarded with everything he does up in NY. I am better not knowing, because I want to call him out on it, for no purpose and to no avail!
THANK YOU!! your post saved me a miserable morning!
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NO contact helped me so much in the healing process. Its hard at first, but it works!
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good advice but soooooooo hard to do! I have been married 39 years(will be 5/11) so that's a long time needless to say . DS is a great help!!
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It IS hard but I promise the whole recovery process is harder the more contact you have. Once he/she's made up her mind it's over you have two choices- accept it and move on or prolong your grief by keeping him/her in your life. I will always love my husband and I'll never understand why these things happened, but I'm tired of feeling BAD! Cutting him out of my life has helped me to move on--- just like he did! Good luck!
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i cant stop thinking of him. I have done so well up to now (i left him in Oct 07) & have had no contact at all excep to see him in court in Oct. But since seeing him again last week at court, i cant get him out of my head & i still miss him even though he put me and the kids through so much with his temper and drink problem.
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I implemented the rule myself a month or so ago, but he drops by every few weeks or so to ask something, pick up …
It looks like it's time to talk about this again. Anyone care to share their thoughts? Misti
I'm thinking of pulling the plug...as much as it pains me. I don't think I can hold on to the hope that we can be …
