Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender ...
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Snail's story
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Hi! I'm a 40yr. old woman living in NYC.
Throughout my life, my sexuality was confusing, as so many of us feel, I'm sure. As a child, I always developed crushes on famous men, but searched the TV channels for pretty women to look at. I fantasized about getting married to a man some day, but I also wanted to be a man and marry a woman. I always figured I was a straight girl who was very sexually attracted to the female body. Once I was in college (out of the house!), I thought lesbians were cool and identified privately with what my family and friends referred to derogatorily as "bulldykes." I really loved them and wanted to know what they were all about. I also had a very femme side that wanted to please men and I had both a male lover and an on again off again boyfriend in college. After college, just when I was contemplating an exploration into lesbianism, I met a man who I lived with for 5 years and considered marrying. I loved him very much and our relationship ended primarily because I was very ambitious in my career and moved to NYC - he wasn't into that. There was some sexual frustration during the relationship, but I thought it was because of his impotence due to his diabetes. Once I moved to NYC, I decided, "okay, NOW I will explore lesbianism!" I did and met my current partner. We've lived together for 9 years and had a nice committment ceremony 7 yrs ago - the whole shebang. She wants to get married in Canada, but I keep putting it off because I've been a bit uneasy in the relationsip for the past 3 years. About 2 years ago, we stopped having sex, and I've been fantasizing about men. Right now, I have a crush on a man that I worked with a couple of months ago. He's straight and he doesn't know how I feel(my partner and I are always trying to set him up with women), but the bigger question is : at the age of 40, I'm totally confused and sexually frustrated. Part of it is my dissatisfaction with my relationship, but my "bisexuality" causes more confusion. I sort of wish things would "come to a head", but I'm sort of a passive person. My partner and I had some intense therapy last year because it was obvious that I wasn't happy, but things sort of came to a resolution, partly because of my wanting peace, and partly because leaving my girlfriend would wreak havoc on me financially (funny how it all comes down to money!). Well, that was long, but it felt good to write, and I thank anyone who got through the whole thing! Any words of advice or just support would be greatly appreciated. Best, Snail Posted on 01/19/08, 03:01 pm |
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I have to say, i know how it is about the financial part. lol! may i ask though, why haven't ya'll had sex in two years? I know relationships lose a lot of the everyday got to have them now passion, but none at all is unhealthy. You may want to start putting money aside to get out. Start loking at apartments, think about getting a roommate after all it sounds like that what you have for the most part any way. let me know how it works out, you can email me anytime 
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I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. Ninjamonkey's advice is sound - maybe it's time to at least begin preparing to move on. DON'T act on the crush you have on your male co-worker - that's just not right until you are out of what your current partner must still perceive as a committed relationship. However, maybe one way to get the whole ball rolling is just to tell her you have this attraction, and it's worrying you, and flat out ask her if this is what she pictured for the two of you.
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hey, i'd love to give you some advice, but at 16, there's not much i can say on this topic.
so, i guess the best i can do is wish you the best of luck and let you know i'm here if you ever want to rant. just hit me up sometime. much love, ~Kay
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It's not healthy to stay in a relationship because of financial reasons. I'm sure that it would be a financial shock to you if you left the relationship, but you would be able to get through it. Maybe if you looked for an apartment with a roomate it would help? You have to think of what you want to happen between you and your significant other - if you want to stay with her for reasons other than financial, or if you want to choose to end the relationship. Don't act on your crush until the situation with your significant other is settled. It's very common and easy to develop crushes on people when you're not happy in your current relationship. It has happened to me in the past. Good luck!
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OMG no sex in 2 years. I go nuts after two days!!!!! I agree with Ninja, you have to start to look after yourself. Save some money and get out on your own. Do you have to live in NY I know the rents there are ridiculously high. If youe firend truely was committed you wouldn't have been sexless for two years.
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