Bipolar Disorder Support Group

I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you.

thanks! I so want to feel her arms wrapped around me right now. Yet I feel so alone.

I am SO SORRY you are having to go through this. "Anniversary times" on the death of a loved one are tough. Can you close your eyes and still feel her holding you? Could you write her a poem? (it doesn't have to be a great one. Only you will ever see it.) Write her a letter about how you are, what you are doing now, ect. Remember it's O.K. to cry! May be you and your children could do something together today? Much love to you right now!

Thank you Debbiex. At times I do feel her arms around me. But I think I'm blocking it with my sadness right now. Actually my hubby came howe with our 2 yr old. He was sound asleep. Daddy placed him on my chest. I just held him for an hour. I took comfort in the memory she was with me at his birth. I have made myself remember all the happy joyful times, not just the sorrow. It hasn't been easy, all though the tears are slowing down. Thanks again everyone for the hugs.

I'm sorry that you are going through this veyy painful time..

Sometimes when I am feeling pain, remorse or grief I just give myself permission to feel it. It sounds strange, but I've literally said out loud "This sucks, it hurts but I'm just going to feel it rather than fight it." Many times by giving myself permission to hurt it helps to alleviate the pain.

You are in my thoughts.

Bradly, thanks! That's kinda' what I'm doing today. I've been on the couch with my teddy bear, under a blanket that I got from my friend. I let that cozy feeling under the blanket feel like her hugging me. It has helped. Still hurting, but not crying. Makes it easier on the kids. So far they really don't remember that today is the annivesrsry. Not such a bad thing since my son rapid cycles and just ended an episode, don't want to send him into another with all the memories. He was very close to both of them. Wanted to marry the daughter that was lost in the accident. We often talk about them and laugh at our memories, why bring up the sad ones when he is doing so well right now. Not sure if that is good or bad in the long run, but at least for right now it allows me to grive with out trying to help the kids thru it all over again.
Any ideas on that???

Thanks So very much for all the hugs and flowers. I really needed them. As said in an earier post I spent most of the day curled up on the couch under a cozy blanket that I had gotten from her. That helped as well as letting my self greive. I think I cried for 3 hours straight, then off and on the rest of the day. I'm feeling better today, but still not great. I talked to a few close friends on the phone for hours yesterday too. One is a friend from Jr. Hi. 20yrs ago. Gotta love friends like that. I will be back soon. Family is taking me to breakfast.

**HUGS**
I know you are hurting but your friend would not want you to spend Mother's Day in so much pain.Try to remember the good times and let her light shine thru you as you enjoy Mother's Day with your kids.:) She would want that I am sure.

I am so sorry for your loss...i will not pretend i know what it feels like to lose someone so close...i don't even want to know...I will pray for you...have a good mother's day

Last year I spent 3 yrs. getting a tatto in memory of Melissa and Kendra, I guess the physical pain helped with the emotional pain. This year, not being in the physical pain, the emotional came thru much stronger. The kids, didn't remember the date, so they handled it with out a prob. I'm glad they have moved on. We still talk about the fun stuff we did, going to the beach, playing ball. I remember Melissa being in the delivery room when I had my 3rd child, no pain killers after 5 1/2 hrs of pitocin. Talk about a labor partner. (although I also think she was sadistic LOL). I appreciate all the love that I have felt from people here. Thanks for helping me get thru the day!