Bereavement Support Group

so today was a pretty sad hard emotional day for me but I got through it just barely! today was the first fathers day being away from my dad and first fathers day that my grandpa wasnt here for I went to visit his grave real early this morning and just sat there and cried and cried and cried but yet I felt so comforted bc when you are mising some one that bad I guess just being there makes u feel better even though they arent physically there it was only my second time going to his grave just because I didnt feel that I was ready to visit there but then again I dont think i'll ever be ready I just need to fac the facts that hes gone and that I wont see him for awhile until he meets me at heavens gate when its my turn...I brought him some beautiful flowers to put at his grave site and it makes a difference doesnt make it look like he is lonely..I also got him one of those solor lights that turn on at night time so its not all dark there I just miss him so much and when I had to leave today to go home I felt the pain from the funeral all over again watching the funeral directors put his casket into the herse to bring to the cemetary and I just remember feeling like I couldnt let go of him during his calling hours I held his hand the whole time pretty much and when I had to leave today all that pain came right back of missing him and wishing I could hold his hand or kiss him and say I love u but I guess the most important thing I need to keep reminding myself is that hes ok now and in a better place and that im ok even though I dont feel like im ok because he isnt with me! but not only was he my father figure that I wanted/needed he was my best friend! and I miss him more than anything in this world! I hope all you out there find strength and courage and comfort to keep going and keep staying strong. and happy fathers day to all you dads out there on Daily Strength! take care and god bless! much love
Posted on 06/16/08, 02:06 am