Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, so...
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Headstone is here
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Dad's headstone was delivered this week and it is beautiful!! We took the kids to the cemetary for the first time and they are dealing ok though really missing their bunka. I came home and cried like a baby after the kids went to bed. It's like it is officially final and everything is over and done. No more believing the mound of dirt in the cemetary is some sort of horrible mistake and he will be coming home. The worst for me? Seeing my mom's name on the headstone. She's still here and doing great (she is over 20 years younger than my dad) but I didn't expect it to be that hard to see her name on the stone next to his. I know it is silly but I am having a hard time with it. Guess today was just not a good day. Anyone out here have any words of wisdom?
Posted on 05/16/08, 10:05 pm |
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It's not silly it's normal. My dad died 32 years ago, and mom's name was on his headstone. It bothered me, but I felt that as long as there was no death date, all was fine. When she died, and the date was put on, it was horrible. I went through the same thing with my in-laws. It's normal. Painful, but normal. Huggs, Rainbow 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away on 9/9/07 and we had to wait to have her headstone placed at the cemetery because the weather was too cold to have it done. We finally had it placed in the cemetery sometime in December. The monument company asked if I wanted my father's name written on the stone and I said no. I didn't want to visit the cemetery and see his name there. I don't think I could take it. He is 85 years old and is having a terrible time coping without my Mom. I hope you will be feeling better soon.
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I am very sorry for your loss. It is difficult to look at the headstones. Makes everything so real.
I lost my sister in 2/07 and we have talked with her husband about her headstone but he said he can't bring himself to do that yet since it would be the last thing he would ever buy for her. I had not thought about it that way. We were thinking that maybe he just had not seen a pattern, etc. that he liked. I guess some things are different for each of us. There are no real words of wisdom for these things in our lives. At least, I have not found them yet! Just know that there are people out here that know how you feel and hope you (and the rest of us) adjust to the changes in our lives as best we can. I try to focus on the positive and funny things we did together. Some times that helps for awhile and some times it makes me miss her more! Take care.
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My husband's headstone will be installed in the next week or so, it will have my name on it too, I am not looking forward to that day....
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