What is Bereavement
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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Delayed Reaction and Grief
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My brother died July 22, 2007 in a single car roll over. I had a hard time at first but then I guess I suppressed my feelings. They would surface occasionally, but for the most part I was ok. Around the same time I entered program for my eating disorder and AA, I have just been flooded with emotion and anxiety about his death. I think that I have learned to open myself up in program and therefore started tearing down walls of protection. Either that or just delayed grief. I have been reading a lot of books and that seems to happen a lot. Anyway, I had a breakdown last night after my sister sent me a picture of our family and I was holding my brothers shoulders in the photo. I had that horrible feeling I have grown to loath. My chest felt like I had an elephant crushing me. I could hardly breath, I wanted to break something, I was so numb that I could hardly move. I had called my mom, and she set on the phone talking me though it. I was so confused and lost that I just wanted to scream. Nothing made sense, this deep pit of emptiness filled my heart, I had visions flashing through my brain, and I couldn't handle it. Thank God for God and family. I could not have made it through last night without both of those. I am so wore out today I don't want to talk to people or interact with anyone. I don't know if that is healthy, but that is how I feel. I just want to be home alone with my dog and just relax. I hope all of you who have suffered loss can find peace today. My thoughts are with you all today.
Posted on 05/09/08, 10:05 am |
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So sorry for all you are going through. I had a delayed reaction when my dad did of suicide when I was 21. I was not emotionally mature or aware enough of grief. Adults who should have knonw better told me not to think about it; it wouldnt do any good. I lost alot of weight, couldnt sleep,quit my job. Finally went to a psychiatrist who, along with God, I credit for saving my life. You will be OK; take time. I lost my mom recentaly. Sometimes I want to be alone, sometimes not. Much love to you. 
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It happens. There are days I just want to cry and days I want to forget and days I want to remember and days I just want to be left alone. This is by far the worst experience I have ever had. I would not wish this upon my worst enemy. Losing anyone is hard but there is supposto be a line. The line being parents pass before children and when it falls out of place its wrong. That is not how it is supposto be. But the way you are feeling is normal.
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My daddy died June 16, 2007, and I still have days where I just want to be by myself, just me and my dog too!! I am so sorry that you are going through this.And having God and Family, that is the only way to get through a storm like this one. God Bless You!!
Lori
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If I didn't know GOd I could never made it to see today. GOd is my strength. And it is only through HIM that I have peace and hope. It the bible we are taught, it is okay to grieve, weather that be delayed or occassionally, it is ok, to get by yourself and have a good cry. God tells us we can cry and he says he will provide. I blieve we all need a BIG CRY!!! So rejoice in the fact that we all have emotions wether they are up and then down. Here is a big hug for you.
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I am so sorry for your loss. My guess is you were previously numbing yourself with food and alcohol, and when you stopped using these substances to escape, you started feeling your emotions, and you had an anxiety attack. I do not use any substance, including food, to numb myself, so when I lost my husband, I let it in little by little as I could handle it.. to avoid just that kind of attack... Some people get anxiety pills from their doctors, some people seek professional therapy. Your attack sounds like a terrible experience for you. You certainly were fortunate to have family to help.. If you feel you need something more, you may want to consider seeing a doctor or a therapist to try to hopefully prevent or at least minimize future recurrences, at least for now... Later, you will have had more time to adjust..
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Just an afterthought here... I'm no doctor, so maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to run this past your doctor just to see what he thinks...
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I am very sorry for your loss. You said your in two programs . the healing that takes place inAA can help old emotions come to front line again. Cause when we drink we hide from emotions when we are sober we have so many thing tht can come up. I am sorry that this is going on with you know that I care and I am praying for yuo huggskathyjo
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