Bereavement Support Group

Does knowing it give you comfort?

Wow, I always hoped to hear something like what you have experienced. I hope that my brother comes to get me.

i definately believe in it My partner passed away 6 weeks ago and a few strange things have happened since i have a 2 and a half year old and she was in bed this 1 night my friend was over all of a sudden my daughter came down the stairs and said "mummys changed" now where on earth would she have got that from so i just put her back to bed then she came down again and said "mummy painter" now my partners surname was painter but mine isnt so i have no idea where she got these from and the fact of her age she wouldnt think up anything like that but she was talking away upstairs and i believe it was my partner and then a couple of nights later she came down at bout midnight she went and got her play doh and made a blob "she 2 and a half" and said it was daddy that was strange too and when we went to bed about an hour later so she was wide awake i thought i seen something in the corner of the room and all of a sudden my daughter pointed to the corner where i thought i saw something and started shouting daddy daddy that was really strange i havent explained to her that daddy has died or even mentioned death as she is far to young but i have told her that daddy is an angel in the sky so how do i explain all of the above ? so yes i believe there is life after death

I'm so happy that you had that experience. I'm sure it makes you feel somewhat better. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
((((HUGS))))
donna

In response to Pheonicks question "Does knowing it give you comfort?" the answer is slightly more complex than the question implies.

My wife Sherry died with grace and dignity. There was some moderate pain but we were able to manage it. On the night before she passed she walked to the bathroom with me helping. That is how incredibly strong she was. I believe that her love for me was so strong that she did not want me to have to face a painful struggle filled with torment and fear. The "way" she died was her final gift to me, for she did not want me to feel pain in her death. Sherry loved me so much that she wanted to make it as easy as possible for me during her death. You would have to know my wife for that was the same direction she took in life. People used to poke fun of her that she never left a footprint anywhere for fear of someone having to clean up behind her. Sherry was never a burden to anyone, never asked for help, never expected anything in life and gave everything away, including her love and support. She was absolutely the most selfless person I have ever heard about, without an ounce of self importance. She gave me a gift of peace in her passing the same way she always gave me the gift of love and peace in life. Sherry made it as easy as she could.

However, I miss her. I find no comfort in her loss. The only thing that I had left to express my complete love for her in the final days/hours was to grant her the peace to leave. I told her that it was ok to go. The only thing I could think of to say to reflect to her how much I loved her through life and in death. I find no comfort in missing her. She was everything to me. Absolutely everything. 100% of everything I did in my life was to live in compliment to her. To be deserving of a love so pure and a woman so compassionate I realized early on that I would spend my days and nights reflecting my opinion of how privilidged I was to love her and be her husband. She was not a high maintenance woman at all. She was filled with quiet grace, humility, and love. EVERYONE loved her for who she was. Not what she did, or what she professed to be. She was a good person who was a true friend. She was completely comfortable with her vulnerabilities, for a person so kind can easily be taken advantage of. Sherry never was. Too many people looked out for her and intercepted anger, hate, pride, envy etc. before it came close. Sherry was the love of my life. My goal was to be deserving of such a pure love. Does knowing there is some form of life after death bring me comfort? No - I miss her too much. I want her back. However, I pray every day for her to guide me and provide me purpose.

knowing does give comfort for i needed to know my son was ok and he let me know. my son passed away on sat morning in a house fire sunday his friends drove by the house and took a set of four pictures, a few days later we weresitting around talking about my son when we decided to look at the pictures. the first two nothing their, the third pic my son is standing in the door way in his milatary clothing, the fourth pic nothing. he showed himself so i would know he was gonna be ok. you can see the pic on virtual memorial.com PVT Eades pics check it out if you don't believe you may.

i am so greatful that you found the of your life. there are so many people who are searching for that special bond that you had with sherry. i hope that you will soon be feeling better. you may not have wanted her to go but GOD did HE called her home. she is now at peace.

These are some entries from my journal on visits that my daughter and I have had in our dreams:
I had a dream on Sunday that was so real. In my dream I kept telling myself that I was dreaming and to wake up but I couldn't. I was at church and our assistant pastor came by and put his hand on my shoulder and asked how the kids and I were doing, I answered him and then he walked on. As soon as he left I felt someone else put both of their hands on my shoulders and didn't say a word, I was trying to figure out who was, then I recognized the touch it was Lance. I turned to look at him and said this is a dream and I need to wake up, he said no it's not I am here, then I asked him where he had been and why he left. He said that he had to go that he had been sick and he couldn't stay. I told him how much I loved him and missed him then he hugged me and kissed me and said that he couldn't stay he had to go. Then I woke up. The dream felt so real.

Wednesday night I had a dream that seemed/felt so real. You craweled into bed and curled up next to me and just held me and comforted me. I felt so peaceful until I woke up to find an empty bed again. I miss you so much.

Angela told me last night that you talked to her during her yoga class when they had meditation time. She said, "mom I hope that you don't think this sounds crazy but I heard Dad very loud and clear tell me that he will always be right here with me, not like he used to be and that it will be different but he is here and that I need to pray to God everyday."

My daughter recently recommended a book titled "90 minutes in Heaven"
It touches on some things very similar to what Sherry experienced.
Yes, I do believe! And look forward to one day being reunited with my husband! As you to will be reunited with Sherry. We just have to get through this very difficult journey until that day comes.
(((Hugs to You))).
Denise

I find your experience very inspiring and I am quite envious. I have a great faith in God and Jesus Christ. I have always believed in life after death. But that being said, it is easy to believe those things when your faith hasn't been tested or you haven't experienced a great loss. With the death of my 18 year old son, my faith has been greatly tested. I have not really "felt" his presence, nor dreamed of him or had anything real concrete to let me know he is OK. I prayed for that for several months with no real answers. Yet I still believe he lives and I will see him again one day when I leave this earth. So I ponder your question and I wonder if maybe in some small way that my test now is to continue my faith even without proof or confirmation and your test now is to gather, develop and keep faith in this new knowledge you have acquired because you have been shown and have been given that proof. Just something to think about. Thank you for sharing your story. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your lovely wife.

I'm positive there is life after death.That peace you felt was the Holy Spirit.It sounds like she was blessed with a happy, peaceful home-coming. God Bless