Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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Mother's Day/Father's Day
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Today, the emotions began. Both of these days will be "firsts" in 2008 for me, having just lost both my parents. Today, I visited my Dad's cemetery and just sat there talking to him; despite not having a close relationship with him, (he didn't live with us) - I sat there so sorry I didn't do more.
Later, I went to a greenhouse in hopes of visiting Mom's grave next week - watching everyone bustling and buying. I walked the aisles knowing Mom wasn't waiting at home like last Mother's Day or able to see what I'd brought home previous years. This time, I was looking - for what I'd buy next week. Mom's at another cemetery. She was my life - and I was hers. Next week, there's no telling what my emotions will be. Her grave is an hour away, and I'm hoping for good weather. I've recently been told by family I could be locked out of burial space there by reason of others pre-deceasing me and some using spaces there when they could have been buried elsewhere. My Mom was assured of a place there for me. Next week, I go there to plant flowers for my Mama, my Grandmom - and look at the stone - and give Mama the news. Posted on 05/04/08, 06:05 pm |
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I hope it becomes easier for you. Death is so tramatic and hard to deal with.
My issue is that Mother's Day overlaps with another important day in my life, which leaves me confused. 5 years ago to the date the doctor didn't think my mother would make it through the night. What a horrible thing I had to live through. This totally is messing with me. I cannot go to the cemetary because we are in different states. You can avoid the holiday which is one strategy I used in the past. 
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Dear JT -
You share something with many posters here. I've read so many who, like yourself, have heartwrenching memories attached to Mother's Day - be it the holiday or the date. For my Mom, Mother's Day (no matter what date it fell on each year) became bittersweet for her. As a teen, I became ill - on Mother's Day at the dinner table. It changed our lives forever - but Mom never forgot that Mother's Day it so broke her heart. Now, we pick up the pieces of our own broken hearts. I'm so sorry about the sad memories attached to your previous Mother's Days.
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Last Mother's Day my Mom was dying. She was at home with hospice and we were caring for her. My Dad and I were with her when she died. Now my Dad and Sister are also dead. I know what you mean about these holidays! They are going to be very difficult to get through. I'm so sorry that your family is not understanding your need to have a space by your Mom. That is awful that they don't realize how important it is to you!((((HUGS))))
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I hope that things get easier for you I know how hard these days can be praying for you also . huggskathyjo
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I plan on not doing anything for mothers day. This may sound terrible, but I don't have to go anywhere to visit my parents. Their urns are in my living room cabinet. I can't part with them. This is so rough for me. I don't have any kids so Idon't have to worry about that. My sister has 3 children but I already told her not to expect me. Mom lived with me and I was her caretaker and right now I am having a hard time.
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