Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, so...
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Organ donation
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My sister died suddenly in her sleep. Her husband and son tried to resucitate her, but to no avail, she was already gone. The ambulance had come and taken her away and the family was phoned. I was there by early afternoon as i lived a bit of a distance from my sisters house. I consoled her children as her husband was in the process of making funeral arrangements. The phone rang and my sisters eldest daughter answered it. It was the morgue wanting to know whether the family wanted to donate organs. My niece just screamed down the phone at them and accused them of being insensitive. I was shocked as well that they would be so cold. Afterwards, i thought about it and i realised that they would have to ask the familys permission before taking organs, even if my sister was an organ donor. I think this is the last thing that close family want to hear the day that their loved one dies. We were all still in shock and starting the grieving process (where anger is one of the top emotions). I have nothing against organ donation, i think it is a wonderful way to help save other peoples lives and i know that the organs need to be taken as soon as possible after death. But there has got to be a better way of going about this.
Posted on 04/11/08, 04:04 pm |
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Not speaking on behalf of ForMomsOnly, but rather on a personal level. The hospital did not ask about organ donations in our case. I did. I knew my son was a donor and am thanful every day that because of him four other people are now leading healthy lives. One was a 12 year old girl who had only days left to live. Another is a man who is very much like who Evan would have become in 20 years. We have met 3 of the 4 recipients and become quite close with one family. Knowing that he was able to bring new life in his passing has brought me great peace. I know it doesn't always work out that way thus I feel truly fortunate that, in our case, it has. 
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I have had to live both sides of this conversation, unfortunately. First of all, I am an ER nurse. I have had to be the one to approach families and ask this question. It sucks! However, it is something that we must do, because time is very important. On the other hand, when I lost my middle son and the hospital chaplain asked me about organ donation, I wanted to rip his head completely off. I felt like he was and insensitive ba****rd, and I told him so! However, my son had made his wishes very clear on this, and he wanted to be an organ donor. It's hard from either side, believe me. One thing I do want everyone to realize; you may have your wishes stated on your driver's license, but if you are in an accident, the police will have your driver's license and those who need the answers to those kinds of questions do not have access to the information. That is why we have to ask family members in the ER. Some states have a registry that you can sign up with, I know that Iowa does. It takes the painful decision out of your family's hands, and keeps your final wishes in your control. Something to think about anyway. Tough subject, no matter what.
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my ex gf and her son died in a tragic car wreck and they were both organ donor she was 41 and he was 9 and he save 9 lives and she save 64 lives with her organ this is awesome thing be a organ donor
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Mike was an organ donor,the night he passed away-the organ donor banked called us at 3 am and was asking us all kind of personal questions about our son.I also realize that it had to be done right away but I think they could of been alittle more understanding.Half of the questions we had to guess at because we never pried into Mike's life.He was 18.Mike wanted to give his organs to other people so they could have life,he made that choice at 16.But the only organs that could of been used on Mike was his eyes and skin.He was too damaged inside from the accident.But at least 2 people can see know because of Mike.
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