Bereavement Support Group

Organ donation is an incredible experience for the family who has lost a loved one. I did it and would not recommend it to anyone. It is a totally insensitive program, where the people involved appear to have no empathy or sympathy for the deceased family. My experience was emotionally crippling.

ok. I'm not here to tell you guys that you're wrong. I just want to explain a different side of things. The only way organs can be donated, is if they are still in "working" mode, which means they can only be taken after a certain type of death, and within a certain time frame from that person dying. Just think, there are people who've been waiting so long to get an organ just so they can live a little longer. The person hears someone may be able to save their life, then gets let down b/c their family refuses to donate to them. It's hard, I agree to be asked if your family member's organs can be taken... but thru them, someone else can have life. They can live on thru others. Their body is gone, there's nothing you can do about it. You'll still grieve the same, but to donate, it's helping someone else and their family to not be put in the same situation as yours. It's not insensitive. I am an organ donor and I hope all my organs are used to help others. I make it very clear to my family that if anything ever happens to me, I'm gone and nothing will change that. But it can Change the fact that someone else can live b/c of my decison.

sorry. One more thing. Just think of it as if you're the one waiting for a donation. Your life is on the line. You'd want someone to donate, right? To save your life? That's all they're asking.

I totally agree with you KArm. I think organ donation is very very important. I am an organ donor myself. I am just concerned about the added stress it puts on the family of the deceased. As Rockstars Mom said, her experience was crippling at that time of immense grief. I was just thinking that if there was a way that if you want to donate your organs that they can just take them from you after you die, rather than put the family through more pain. Thanks for your comment too. It is always good to hear different opinions. BIG HUGS

My husband died suddenly also - had not been sick - died at home. In our state if you want to be an organ donor it is on your license. When my daughter got the call she said who it was and I did not want to take the phone - but I did - they were so nice to me - also I received a lot of helpful material the first year from them - and a thinking of you card on the 1st anniversary - They have to contact you when the person who passes was a donor - it was really hard to take the call - but I wanted to respect my husband's wishes - He had been a blood donor all our married life and he was very proud of it. I just wanted to give my thoughts. kci

No doubt, it is very easy to be construed as insensitive due to the timing and the urgency behind the approval process, but unfortunately, it is a process that must be followed in order to save and/or extend another life.

When we were in the hospital with my dad while he was still on life support the doctors came into the waiting room and told us all to start thinking about organ donating. It was up to me my sister and my brother because my mom refused to let his side decide because me, my sis and bro were my dads whole world.

It was really hard to think about it because he was on life support and it was all to fast. My dad was so severly ill and gone that his organs wouldnt pass for donation because of his infections.

I dont know why anyone would NOT want to be a donor- it truly saves lives. I dont agree with ppl that arent, its kind of selfish even if its in your belief. Like the others posted, what if it was you that needed a organ donation to save your life?

Its never the right time to talk about that subject but they are just doing their jobs and trying to save lives when others cannot be saved. My hugs and thoughts are with you and your family at this time. sorry about the loss you all have encountered

oh, I definately agree that there should be other ways of approaching families to ask the question. As for us to, it's on our driver license. If it's not, they do ask the family. I don't think it should be while they're on their death bed... that would hit hard and give the family no more hope. Some doctors and staff are use to the scenes... and it's just routine to them.

I completely agree with most of the post..organ donation saves lives and Iam all for it! I know it is hard but to think that part of your sister lives on in someone else could be a comforting thought..my cousins 12 yr old daughter had to have a heart transplant urgently last yr or she wasnt gonna make it and she got one and thanks to the little girls mother my little 2nd cousin is here with us today! I am also an organ donor and it states that on my license...

I am so sorry to hear about your sister, my heart is with your striken family. May you know she awoke in a place of such incredible love and peace. I know she's there with every fiber of my being.

No denying that organ donation is a truly meaningful and totally worth it thing. No doubt about that, and it's obvious you agree.

But what I get from your post goes beyond that. Absolutely it's truly a noble cause that saves lives, so all of us who advocate it should lobby to reform the system charged with donation. Because what you have relayed here was NOT RIGHT. If it's so important to us, and we know people who's lives are saved from it, then we should invest a little time to remind those custodians that they are calling the bereaved's house, talking to the daughter of a loved one lost, and tearing them a new hole in their already broken hearts. Did that do any good to anyone?

I know that those who receive a second chance in life because of a donated liver or kidney are grateful and deserving, and would not want the family who suffered a loss so tremendous to go through hell and feeling guilty for how they react because someone didn't take the time to remember they were dealing with human beings, not farmers peddling crops, when they asked them for permission. For their sakes, there has got to be a better way.