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Reply #1 -
03/23/08
11:10pm
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God does not punish us Hon, but it sure feels like it sometimes. I was angry with God for a very long time after I lost my boys. It's okay, He understands. It took me over a year to be able to pray again. I still haven't been back to church. I understand how you feel. Hugs, Barbara
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Reply #2 -
03/23/08
11:15pm
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what i try to do is say to myself that heaven is such a better place than here. i refound my faith after i lost my son but spent alot of time crying in church too. i get angry at god too but it's ok he forgives.
i'm sorry for your loss.
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Reply #3 -
03/23/08
11:22pm
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I am not a religious person. I'm not anti-god either so you can take what I'm about to say with grain of salt. I don't mean to offend anyone by it.
IMHO, God is a coping mechanism. The idea of heaven and god helps give meaning to some people's lives and helps them have hope. There's nothing wrong with believing in God and heaven and all the rest because I'm sure it helps on many levels. But being an idea more than a reality, "He" cannot protect you. "He" cannot punish you. "He" can only be there as a symbol of hope for what you would like there to be. It would be nice if we could all be joined with our lost ones in heaven one day. If that thought keeps you going, hold on to it. But you're not being punished. Life can be cruel and unfair and there's no one to blame.
I hope you are able to find the strength you need because there are good things to hold on to too.
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Reply #4 -
03/24/08
12:33am
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I think everyone has some crisis of faith at some point during the grieving process and gets angry at G-d. My father is very good man but he gets angry with G-d for taking his wife away and goes into the whole "I don't believe in the after life" bit. It frightens me to hear that coming from him, and if there is any person on this earth who deserves to have a wonderful afterlife, it's my father.
I don't think you are being punished for having bad thoughts -- I think you are just allowing your sadness to manifest itself in anger, and on a day such as Easter, it probably heightened the feeling. Give yourself a break -- the anger will pass. You are a good person. And don't forget that.
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Reply #5 -
03/24/08
1:53am
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I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal and right on track for anyone in the grieving process. Don't feel guilty - God says he tests faith.
Now passing those tests of faith is probably something I haven't mastered yet.
It's okay! Be you and whatever your beliefs are, they will lead you to finding some peace eventually.
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Reply #6 -
03/24/08
3:31am
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After giving birth to my child and seeing her die in my arms did make me question if God cares for me. I know it hurts but you have to find some way to go on.
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Reply #7 -
03/24/08
6:24am
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Hi my name is michelle and when my father died when I was five i remember looking out into the sky and telling god that I hate him and would never believe in him again. After my father died, his mother, my grandmas cancer came back and she died because of a mistake the doctor made. I have a hard time trying to find any sort of faith now and it is really difficult!!!!!
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Reply #8 -
03/24/08
1:42pm
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Thank you everyone for listening and for sharing your thoughts. (((Big hug!)) Your support means so much. I have calmed down a little today. I guess Easter withtou Mom really threw me for a loop. I'm still having a crisis of faith but I am much calmer today. Thank you.
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Reply #9 -
03/24/08
3:18pm
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Holly,
I don't think any of what you said is offensive. It's just exactly what many of us have felt and are still dealing with. Whatever your spiritual beliefs are, it feels like God is out to get you or just doesn't care. History tells us time and again that He does care. Scripture tells us that He loves us over and over again. But it also says this life will not be easy. We just have to keep doing what we know is right and trust Him to do the same. That's what helps me, when I'm thinking straight.
Blessings, Stacie
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Reply #10 -
03/24/08
8:35pm
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I understand where you are coming from. I have been angry right now as well. You are not going to hell. It takes time to let the pain ease. Hang in there!
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