Bereavement Support Group

I’ve just come back from a support group. It’s raining outside and so the house seems dark and gloomy. The old me would be sad and left thinking about mom. I’ve stopped thinking about her and now just talk out loud I know she can hear me and in my heart I know her response to whatever is bothering me. At first I thought why am I doing this. She can’t answer me and it’s just going to make me sad. But it actually helps.
I started thinking today well truth is I’ve been thinking about this for quite sometime now. Moms gone she’s in heaven now and I don’t like that she’s gone but I’m ok with the fact that she is in a better place and that she no longer is in any kind of pain. I try and call my father often but its gets hard knowing he’s alone bothers me. I knew my parents very well I knew how strong there relationship was and how strong their love was for one another. Since my mom has passed I’ve fallen in love and everyday I fall deeper and deeper. I’m happy but at the same time I’m afraid. I wonder if one day Ill get sick or die suddenly or vise a versa. I stay up at night sometimes and stare at Michael I want to be able to live every moment as if it were our last but that’s hard with everyday tasks and issues. Sometimes we forget and get caught up. I guess I’m having a hard time excepting the fact that no matter how good of a person you are how deep in love you are with another person tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. It’s obvious that the reason I avoid my dad at times is because he’s living proof that true love at one point will be physically taken away that the incredible duo will no longer be that you’ll have to face that empty side of the bed. You will enter into this world alone and exit just the same. To find true love is a gift. I’ve promised myself that I will live everyday the way I want to. That I’ll make time for my love ones and I won’t put off things that I’ve always wanted to do. Moms passing although heart breaking it has awakened me to reality to live is a gift… to fall in love is a gift.. to have children is a gift... and growing old is a gift. So mom didn’t leave me with just memories.. she left me with the most important gift of all LIFE.
LIVE LIFE

Live, Love, Laugh
Posted on 02/12/08, 02:02 pm