Bereavement Support Group

CHARITY GRANT: ORGAN DONATION



Why this is so near and dear to my heart....

My husband passed away due to a brain hemorrhage of unknown causes. John was a giver, never a taker. He had told me when he first was faced with brain surgery that he wanted me to see to it, in case of his demise, that if any of his organs could be saved, then to donate all I could...he wanted to help those who needed it even while facing the possibility of his own life ending.

He felt that if he could not live, that maybe someone else could. He always gave of himself throughout his life and he was so loved for his caring and tender ways. My husband of 16 years, suffered through two major brain surgeries, fell into a coma, fought desperately for his life....but this was so much bigger than he could fight.

After 13 days of hell in the ICU, I, after many, many discussions with the doctors and looking at the scans of his brain...made the decision to abide by John's wishes and let him off the respirator. This was another discussion we had before he got so bad. Even though I knew it was what he wanted, and that all the doctors, the nurses, the MRI's and CT Scans told or showed me that he was no longer there...it was still THEE hardest decision of MY life...to end his. It was the right thing to do...the kindest thing to do...the most loving thing to do...and yet, it felt as though I had been playing God.

I met with the Organ Donor coordinator before life support was removed....answered 2 hours worth of very personal questions...then after all the t's were crossed, they took my husband to the O.R. to die. When he did not die within the first two hours, they brought him to me in a private room. His major organs were no longer viable. John was hanging on for some reason...so I took him home by ambulance to our home, and took care of him for 6 days with the help of Hospice nurses.

The O.D. Coordinator had told me that all was not lost for John's wishes...that his cornea's would give two people sight, and that his skin tissue would help with up to 80 burn victims. She, O.D. Coordinator, awarded John with a bronze medal claiming that he was a true hero...she handed this medal to me at the St. Louis University Hospital before we came home. Yes, indeed, John was and always will be my hero.

He passed away on February 22, 2006 at 7:15 pm with me at his side...

Sadly, none of his wishes to donate his organs were carried out. The reason for this is that we live in a small, rural town...HOURS away from any major hospital that could actually preform the surgeries needed for organ donation. I felt as though I had failed him yet again....

After the funeral, I researched the local hospitals here to find out why it could not have been done here. I was told, that the doctors here are (in my words) nothing more than "band-aide" doctors...they patch you up enough to get you to a major hospital. Our O.R.'s are not equipped for this type of surgery nor are our doctors taught how to extract the organs.

I contacted the coordinator in St. Louis and told her what had happened....offered to return the medal....she said that the medal should stay here with me as John was still a hero for caring enough about others....it was not his fault or mine that we could not do as he wished. She was not aware of our little hospitals situation...she put me in contact with another person closer in my state as I live about 3 hours from St. Louis. Together she and this other person with the information I gave are working hard to change this situation.

The money given to the Organ Donor program could be beneficial to soooooooo many people....educating and equipping small town doctors and hospitals with the know how....aiding a family without insurance whom could never afford such a life saving surgery....a thousand dollars is just a drop in the bucket...but it helps, and it is a start. So many lives could be saved in the smaller rural communities if the know how and equipment were available...and so many lives all around the USA could be saved from someone from a small town.

John had a HUGE and LOVING heart....beautiful eyes that never saw the bad or ugly in others....such a shame and waste that someone ( three people to be exact) could not have felt or seen the things that he did...that he could not "live" on through someone else....

I will fight this fight for Organ Donation til the day I take my last breath....to make my husband proud of me for not letting him down....Kat



To my friends reading this...Doug has posted a journal entry today asking for those of us who have a health organization that we would like for him to consider donating to. He is donating 2,000 dollars in two separate checks to the two he chooses along with other DS staffers...it is not a contest, he just wants to get ideas. HUGS YA ALL....Love, Kat
Posted on 10/25/07, 12:10 am