Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, so...
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moving beyond grief.
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My mom passed away June 9, 2007. She was just a month and a half shy of her 62nd birthday.
I thought this would get easier, "time heals all wounds," but it is only getting more difficult. I started to have panic attacks after her service and made the tough decision to leave my job. I thought I would be further along in this process now that I have had this time to myself. Instead, I find myself having a very difficult time even getting out of bed. See, I know the steps to move past general depression. Depression is something that I have dealt with for much of my life. I guess my question is, how do I look toward the future, gain hope & happiness when all I want is my mom??? I want her here for my wedding, I would have loved for her to meet my future children... One thing I must mention is that I stood up the woman at Hospice. I went and had my initial consultation, but never did go back. Now I am sort of lost as to what direction to turn. Posted on 01/24/08, 04:01 pm |
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You can still call Hospice. They have support groups and offer bereavement services for 13 months because they understand that everybodys grief is personal to them, but also that anniversary dates and holidays are especially rough.
Today is the 2 month anniversary of the last time I talked with my loved one. I wrote him a letter telling him how much I miss him today. I will be having a graduation ceremony soon and he won't be here for it either, although he was my biggest supporter. I will be thanking him and honoring him when I stand up. I'm not saying that any of these things will work for you. It's just my personal journey through grief. Support and understanding is another part. I hope you also find that you are not alone! 
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OH HUN HOSPICE IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU!!! MY SISTER WAS IN HOSPICE FOR A VERY SHORT TIME BEFORE SHE PASSED AND THOSE PEOPLE WERE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL TO HER AND OUR WHOLE FAMILY. THEY ACTUALLY HAD A SUMMER CAMP THIS PAST SUMMER AND BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT I LOST MY DAD MY SON AND MY SISTER ALL WITHING 15 MONTHS THEY PUT MY SON RIGHT UP TO THE TOP OF THE LIST TO GO TO THIS CAMP FOR BEAREVED CHILDREN!!! THEY ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND WILL NOT TURN YOU AWAY.
I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. IF YOU HAVE NO ONE CLOSE TO TALK TO JUST REMEMBER WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!!! HUGS TO YOU HUN
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Hi hun,
I agree with the above you can always call hospice. What I like about there groups is they usually have trained grief administrators... they seem to know the right thing to say, and that helps. Also I found "How to Go One Living When Someone You Love Dies" is a really good book. ))HUGS((
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The first year is generally about grief, where you are sort of numb and can't get past replaying the trauma in your head. It's pretty awful being stuck like that for a year, but unfortunately very typical. You can still call hospice, and they may call you. I know they called me the day after my mother passed, at two months, six months, eight months and a year--all those dates must be milestone. I unfortunately missed those calls because I was busy working and wasn't home when they called. I am sorry to have missed those calls because at 8 months I really did need some sort of bereavement counseling or support and finally sought it in the form of a therapist. If you have time, please think about joining bereavement groups offered through either hospice or community churches. I am so sorry for your loss and wish you the best as you seek to cope through this first year.
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I have to say this, though mom only had hospice for a few short hours, they were very, very helpful. When I called the nurse that morning, she didn't even know me, I hadn't even completed the paperwork needed to sign mom up, and here I was calling to tell this nurse that mom had gone. I just recently wrote in my journal here about all the things hospice did for us, except for the counseling part.
The hospice worker called and called me and I kept standing her up, until one day she showed up at the house and shamed me into going to counseling. It was the best thing I ever did. Try and reach out to them again, they will help, after all they are experts in grief. Don't give up and don't put unrealistic demands on yourself, your grieving, give yourself a chance.
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"TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS" AND "IT WILL GET EASIER" ARE THE MOST AWFUL THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS LOST A LOVED ONE. THERE ISNT ENOUGH TIME IN THE WORLD!!!
CALL HOSPICE!!! THEY ARE WONDERFUL!!! MY SISTER WAS IN HOSPICE AND THEY STILL CALL ME ALL THE TIME TO FIND OUT HOW WE ARE DOING AND TO SEE IF WE WANT THE COUNCLORS TO COME TO THE HOUSE TO TALK TO US!!! THEY WILL NOT HOLD IT AGAINST YOU THAT YOU STOOD HER UP!!! I CANCELLED MY APPOINTMENTS 7 TIMES AND YET THEY WERE RIGHT THERE FOR US WHEN I FINALLY DID CALL THEM BACK. ALWAYS HERE TO TALK. HUGS TO YOU HUN
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Hospice is there for you even when you did not have Hospice. call your local chapter and they can guide you.
Are you getting help for your depression by a MD?
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