Asperger Syndrome Support Group

I am Aspie BP Chiari Dispraxic etc and am creative clever and bold. Proof ok ywo degrees lawyer 20 yrs poet etc. Love my specialism. Special people change world norms scuttle about

for all the social awkwardness and anger i've had over the years there are quite a few things i've been able to really harness since my diagnosis. i have this huge mental library of human actions that i cataloged over the years and would draw upon to interact with others. it became extremely exhausting but through it i've got a wonderful understanding of personal profiles. obviously very subjective but useful.

also, i love being able to memorize just about anything instantly. or being able to take anything apart and put it back together exactly as it was in working order. also, because i do a lot of triathlons and endurance sports, the ability to dissociate or not even register my emotions is quite useful, only, i never really know when to quite.

hmm I never realy thought of the ability to not register your emotions as something that you could harness but for things that you REALY need to focus on that alone can be a GREAT catalist for focus.

I also share this atitude that I dont know when to quit and I think that its mostly because of my upbringing because my mom kept telling me to NEVER GIVE UP and I have kept that in my mind as something very important ever since and now I think my mom might be a little bit sorry that she encouraged me to "never give up" because I always want to FINISH what I START. This alone has led to many a misunderstanding and mental overload with my mom and my brothers but I have learned to limit my words although I never realy feel like I ever get my point across to anyone in my family. probably because I dont know how to tell if they were realy listening to me and actualy learning something important that I needed them to at least understand, but I have learned that of the NT's in my family, and not necesarily in the world, have a limited attention and stamina span. and sometimes this seems very limited because the will often give you the cold shoulder or just say SHUT UP and ither of those two would make any aspie feel rejected, what do you guys think?

I also acknowledge "not registering your emotions" can be a positive attribute in certain circumstances. For example, in the finacial area in the trading of stocks. When panic sets into the market and everyone is loosing their heads, it can be an attribute to view the market in a distant and objective manner. Your detachment can actually make money for you!

One of the best ways we can harness our advantages is to purposefully decide not to worry about being understood.

I think there is a lot of creativity bound up inside us that we tend to squash because we're concerned about how others will respond.

In my own experience, it's helped to just create things, and let the results speak for themselves.

An example:
I did a painting of a ship in a storm. It was an expression of everything that was going on inside of me that I didn't have words for. Lots of people saw and commented on the painting. They thought it was great, beautiful, whatever... but none of them "got it."

One of my friends did. She asked me, "Why are the sails open? Didn't they roll up the sails during a storm?" I hadn't even given this any thought really, it just felt right to paint them open. Immediately, the reason popped into my head. "Think 'Pirates of the Caribbean'" I said, "Jack Sparrow kept the sails open because he had a place to go. There was a reason for moving forward."
My friend said, "Moving forward, I like that."
So, that's what I have ended up calling the painting.

What I'm getting at is that, if we can let go of our desire to "MAKE" people understand, it frees us up to really express what we want to say.

I *love* that you asked this! I have told my (AS) son, "See the field behind our house? Most people go by and think, 'It's just an empty field,' but YOU look at that field and you know it is quite full: full of rocks, and weeds, and plants, and bugs, and all manner of interesting possibilities. That 'vision' is what makes you special."

Just today, my (AS) husband was in a motorcycle accident. He wasn't hurt badly, but he was obsessing about all the "what ifs": "what if" one of our children had been riding with him; "what if" he could have done something differently, etc.

To him I said, "You - like our son - have a special gift for seeing things from a different point of view. You do not think so much from experience as from possibility and observation. Your thinking is more global - more open to seeing a bigger picture AND smaller details than the average person."

I am unbelievably proud of him for having come so far in life when he had no such role models in his life. He SAW more and therefore was able to BECOME more than just his own experience. That's the positive side of that "big picture/detailed picture" thinking. The down side is that when something like his accident happens, he's going to agonize over the "what ifs". It's just who he is.

One of the most special gifts of AS is that glorious way of seeing so much more than "average" people see in everything around them. In this way, they aren't bound by the limits of their life experience, but rather, only by the limits of their imagination and vast observations.

For me, the biggest advantage is that I'm not bound by social norms and expectations, so I consider all kinds of things without being stopped by the 'Oh, that would be impossible' thought that a lot of NT people have. And once I've set my mind on something, I will take extraordinary and unconventional steps to achieve it.

One thing in particular I notice in my own life, which I attribute to my AS, is the way I have been able to work through complex PTSD (from a very abusive upbringing) by systematically working through all the memories, regardless of how painful they were, and writing them out in detail. Most other people I talk to with PTSD say they can't possibly do this because it would be too traumatic - and yet it is the known way to heal from PTSD. So for me, despite how painful I found it, I just kept going, because I assumed it was a good pain and the only way to heal was to let the pain out. I guess I have an ability to decide to do something no matter how much it hurts, and I don't tell myself I can't possibly do something.

At a previous job, I used to amaze everyone by walking ten miles to work every day. This was because I hate taking public transport so much that I actually much preferred walking, but most people would say that was far too long to walk. However, it had really positive effects on my health.

On the downside, this ability to decide to do something no matter how much it hurts, and to disregard the advice and opinions of others, can also be a disadvantage, when I don't take practical health needs into consideration and I push myself so hard that I get ill. But this is something I'm aware of and am trying to implement some health rules into my life, so I don't overdo things. It is easy for me to push myself too hard and get exhausted, so I am trying to put some healthy boundaries in my life.

Oh - that is so interesting what so_up_so_down said about seeing the bigger picture and also seeing the tiny details. I am like that, and it always confuses me when I try to put into words how my mind works, because the two are supposed to be mutually exclusive, and so I think I have to choose one of those and never know which to choose, as they are both present. I always go through a field seeing all kinds of tiny and wonderful details, and it is a lovely experience. I see all kinds of intricate details of nature in a tiny patch of grass. And I also see things from the viewpoint of possibility and observations rather than experience. But I never put it into words like that before, so thank you for explaining it so eloquently, so_up_so_down.