What is Anxiety
Anxiety refers to a complex combination of negative emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as...
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Guilt and anxiety
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I've had so much happen over the last 4 years that have lead to my anxiety. My family is terrible and has wronged me in many ways. My fiance and I had some hard times a few years ago and even though our relationship is great now, I still have thoughts that we might go back to being the way we were. I recently went on a trip by out of state to visit a friend where I just went wild, and tried to forget everything I had going on back home. It was like I wasn't even me. I did and said things I normally wouldn't do. I think I was kinda looking for a reason or excuse for not coming back home. After I did come back, I regretted my actions so badly that my anxiety got worse and now I suffer deeply everyday. Is a good person still good even if they do something bad? I realized that I'm kinda lost and I sought a therapist for help. I know that the problems I still encounter with my family and my fears about my relationship helped spark this rebellious side of me. Is there anyone else out there who has acted out of character and was deeply sorry and affected by it? What did you do to get over it? The sorrow and guilt I feel is eating away at me and I don't know what else to do. Any advice would be great. Thanks so much in advance.
Posted on 09/27/07, 05:09 pm |
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I think it's human nature to act out of character. I mean, who is 100% consistent all the time? Who doesn't have to let loose or get crazy just once in their life? Sure, there are people who are straight arrows that never stray from the proper path, but for most of us, that isn't reality. Furthermore, I think our anxious natures make us more prone to guilt. I know I feel tremendous guilt over the fact I have an anxiety disorder. How much sense does that make?
Please be easy on yourself. We have all done something we deeply regret, and the longer you hold on to it, the greater the toll it will take on your mental health. I think you are holding yourself to an impossible standard, and that's not fair. 
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Thanks so much, that's really helpful :)
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I have a hard time telling myself that we all make mistakes too. I've spent so long thinking I was a perfect straight arrow (I was probably a little repressed).
We're all tempted to live the crazy life sometimes, and I find it hard to realize that I'm fallible - I slipped off my self-created pedestal, and broke my fiance's trust. Everyone tells me I'm too hard on myself because in their eyes what I did is not a very big deal, but it's hard not to let your mind spin out of control when you upset your own standards. I remind myself that I'm human, I made a mistake, I've owned up to it and have to move forward. You can only control what happens now and in the future. When the panic comes at me I need to remember that I'm not perfect (no one is!), and that as long as I'm honest with myself and learn from my mistake, that will make me a better person. Things will get better for both of us if we turn negative into positive, learn and grow.
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I acted like a person I don't even know a few years back. I don't know what was going on with me, but now, I just say to myself: that was in the past. It is not who I really am. While I am still embarrassed, and ashamed by my actions, again, I know I am not that person.
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I don't know what you did that was so bad, but I can relate to "acting out of character". I was a wild man there for awhile in my visits to this bar, where, yes, I would drink too much, in an attempt to stop thinking about my brother who passed away. All it did was create a lot of anxiety in me, and I kept thinking "this is not me. I'm a calm, sedate person. What the hell am I doing here?"
It sucks not having the safe sanctity of family to comfort you. Family is supposed to be that one safe place when all the rest of the world is falling to shit. I guess just try to get back to your true character, apologize to those you feel you've wronged, and try not to make those same mistakes again.
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I understand what you are going through. I have had similar things happen. Sometimes I think I just want to be someone other than myself. Not live in the boundaries of what I think I want in my everyday life.
You are not a "bad" person because you did something that contradicts your everyday self. The whole fact that you feel sorry for what you did means you see the fault in it. Taking a look at what side of yourself your keeping hidden and why, will be a big step into your person growth. I wish you all the best with this situation. I am glad you are seeking therapy. Sometimes all that guilt can lead to other unhealthy releases. Try to be kind to yourself! HUGS!
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