Anxiety refers to a complex combination of negative emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as...
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Am I crazy for feeling this way?
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I am panicking so much right now....a few days ago my dad had a quadruple bypass, and I feel betrayed by my boyfriend of 7 and a half years.
My boyfriend used to smoke quite a lot, and we have discussed this issue a million times always ending in him quitting years ago for himself. I have quite a few trust issues with him. The problem is not necessarily what he does but what he promises to do and does the opposite. For instance, if he says he will not smoke; he will behind my back. I had my trust broken in the past with him (him saying he wasnt in a certain place and he was). I feel so alone right now and so upset over my dad's surgery. On TOP of this I feel so betrayed and so hurt by my boyfriend's actions (that were contrary to what he has been telling me). Again it is not just the smoking; it is him telling me that he wouldnt do certain things and then me finding out that he is. I just dont know if I can trust him. I cant stop crying right now, becaus of the overwhelimgin stress that I am going through. He ended up telling me that he will do what he will want to do as long as it does not affect me. Well these things DO affect me! Him going behind my back and not being up front with me DOES affect me! HIm drinking too much DOES affect me. Sorry to vent to everyone, I am just SO alone right now, and SO depressed and anxious. I am alone in my house and cant stop crying, please write back. Posted on 05/16/08, 09:05 pm |
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your not crazy, you have a bunch of things on your mind and you have every right to feel that way. Hang in there hun, im here if you need to talk 
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that means a lot! i have put so much into this relationship, more than 7 years. I have been taking care of my father for almost a week now, and haven't had any time to fully relax for myself. I also attend school for the summer. I am also balancing taking care of my brother and the house while my dad is in the hospital. I really feel the need to reconnect with my girlfriends. I think it will help me a great deal. I am a little agoraphobic though in big groups, so i'll try to see how that goes.
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Does your boyfriend ask you to not do this or that? And if so how do you respond to it, on the spot and afterwards.
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You are not alone. Anyone in your situation would feel hte same-whether they admit it or not.
Definately re-connect with some gf's. They will hopefully help you. Start off just hanging out with one or two, then go from there. I'm really sorry to say this, please don't get upset with me, but your bf sounds like kind of a jerk. Little selfish. But, my boyfriend occasionally does the same. He talks about all of these things he wants to do, but doesn't. Ugh. Can be so frustrating!
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kind of like a jerk? little selfish? um...who isn't?
I think thats besides the point atm, question is how are you gonna cope with it? not how are you gonna run away. I wish you the best truly, its tuff with your dad being sick and all, but trust me, now is not the time to add more drama, keep your cool, vent out, go out!, try to treat your boyfriend as a family member. And when things cool down, make decisions, maybe you'll decide to dump him, maybe he'll be a good ogre by then. ;)
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This is a story posted by Drogher in the anxiety support group, I found it priceless.
An old Cherokee Indian is telling his grandson about a fight that is going on inside himself. He said it is between two dogs. One is a black evil dog full of anger, envy, sorrow, regret, self pity, greed, arrogance, fear, superiority, and ego. The other is a white dog full of good, joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness , benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather- Which dog wins? The old cherokee simply replied... "THE ONE I FEED"
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thank you all for the comments! I feel as though I have invested too much into this relationship to throw it all away. My boyfriend gets worried if I go out, he never fully tells me what to do. But I take his concerns to heart and avoid the things that make him feel uncomfortable. Such as going to a bar or a club with girlfriends or guys (as I did in the past). So the point is when I tell him that I get worried when he goes out he alter his behavior. He will agree with me at the time, but in the moment he will for example have a drink too many and get to his house late, which makes me worry because he wont keep in touch. My only issue is if you do something go ahead and do it (i cant stop him), but dont tell me you are not going to do something and then do it.
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sorry my last comment didn't make sense at times, what I meant to say is that I take his concerns to heart and alter my behavior (voluntarily) accordingly. He does not, we talk about it, but nothing changes on his end. He says he agrees that my worries are legit, but somehow when he gets caught up in the moment, nothing holds him back. And most often than not he gets defensive before he approaches me to talk about how it affects me.
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okay so he came home last night and we kept disagreeing on the issue until just about now. He finally admitted to the fact that that is what he does, and does not know what to tell me. He said that he cant make any more promises...but still does not know what to say about the subject anymore. So I am left confused once again, what do I do?
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Definitely connect with friends...but not necessarily at a bar or club - probably not a good idea.
Get a girlfriend and go to dinner or a movie -- go to a local park and walk. Exercise does wonders for anxiety/stress. Tuesday night I went to a friend's house and we painted whimsical designs on flower pots. We talked and laughed, and it was all very soothing. Keep it simple. I hope your father's surgery is a great success and he has a speedy recovery. You are not alone.
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