Anxiety Support Group

I found out he was cheating and tried to talk to him about it.....had him move out. we are not together today - we are trying to stay friends but it is so not working out, too many hurt feelings involved I would guess, the trust is gone and plus he knows which buttons to push to get me to feel bad and I don't know how to turn that off. so I think it's for the best of me that we are not friends

My ex-husband had 6+ affairs. Plus he was abusive and he admitted he was a drug addict (which I had NO clue about). I divorced him. He was not good for me at all. I am so much better off.
I've tried to forgive past boyfriends for cheating, but once that trust is broken, it is VERY had to get back.
It was very painful for me. I knew if I stayed with him, it would be a constant reminder of his actions. I decieded that I deserve better than that. I deserve someone who won't disrespect me like that. And you do too.
I'm sorry I don't have advice for you, but you do deserve better.

Hi, I would like to say something about cheating for those of you who may have been hurt by it from a man.

I think men and woman don't view this in the same way and sometimes I think woman don't understand the guys motives for it.

First off , I wanna say that I have never cheated on a girlfriend ever, I don't think I could cope with that very well, I would leave my girlfriend before I would cheat on her, but this doesn't mean it hasn't gone thru my mind ever, as a on the spot phantasy.


There's a big difference between phantasising about something and acting upon it, however in some circumstances I could see how things could be made too easy to resist for a guy, say as if a woman was actively trying to get a guy whom she knew was in a relationship but kept on trying to entice him. To me that can be very different then if a guy actively goes out trying to find someone to cheat with.

One thing to consider with guys is that its just about always , more sexual then emotional and very more shortlived kind of thing, like a guy who is drunk and out with some buddies and some woman is pressing herslf onto the guy, and the guy hasn't has sex in a while with his gf, etc, and then falls for it and ends up feeling totally in the dumps about it and doesn't give a rats ass about the person he cheated with and is totally pre-occupied by what he did.

On the otherhand, I think woman when they cheat , its more often time on an emotional level and is actually more serious, not always mind you, I know you girls can get horny too and just have some wild phantasy fling which means little too you emotionally, but generally speaking I do believe womans cheating has to do with deeper emotions and for that reason I can see why your interpretation of it hurts more or seems worst then what the guy was actually feeling when he cheated on you.

In other words men's sexual impulses are way more disconnected with his heart and are way more short lived imo. I'm not saying , cheating is something that isn't bad when men do it, or that it doesn't mean there are issues in the relationship at hand, but what I am saying is that you don't need see it as an epic romantic betrayal more as some kid getting his hand caught in the neighbours cookie jar. He maybe wanted to taste the neighbours cookies but this does not mean he wanted to go live with her or be with her the rest of his life.

I'm just saying for men emotions and sex aren't always closely related and for woman they tend to be much more, so womans interpretation of cheating is in a sense more profound and more hurtful then what was actually going on.

That's my 2 cents on cheating. I hope it may help someone in seeing that sometimes it as little to do with you, the person who got cheated and was just some selfish act done by someone who saw an opportunity for a thrill and that it had nothing to do with you and that you shouldn't feel belittled by it, angry sure, disappointed sure, worried about the relationship sure, but belittled , unworthy, used, etc.. NO. If it weren't you he cheated it would have been somebody else. For some or many guys , on a sexual level , its not about finding the right cookie , it about tasting ones he's never tasted before. But on an emotional level , they will much more likely want that one true love.

What I am trying to say more then anything else is not to accept cheating in your relationship or necessarily try to work through the relationship, but rather to not let it belittle you in any way, don't take it personally and start from there as to what decisions you wanna take. Don't let that one event outweight everything you've ever done, were doing and were planning to do with that person. Its hard to establish a general rue of conduct here imo, cuz each circumstance is so very different, but I do think men are often like children when it comes to sex, and unless it was seeked out actively and they are having emotional ties with these woman , it should at least be viewed that way, I know its always going to suck, but if you have a family , kids etc..pls consider it, before making drastic decisions.

I can totally respect a man or woman who has been cheated on and stuck though it and worked things out.

My husband cheated on me for 6 months right in my face. I was so stupid and in denial big time. He WAS my best friend and my souldmate. Because of this I have severe anxiety and panic attacks and all kinds of other go to run away right now feelings. I took him back, I am not sure why...he moved out of the house to live in a drug house filled with losers so he could be with his whore. I should have put my foot down.

Now I have anxiety about where he is, who he is with if they still talk and so on.

I want to not care and just grow cold...but then he bugs me for sex. I don't feel close to him, why would I want sex? I have caught him many times with his hands down my pants...and the other night I woke up to him raping me. I take ambien and I am out like a light. I can only imagine what else has gone on. Ihate myself for putting up with his shit.

I want out but now I do not have the means to make it happen. I feel worthless, forgotten and want to just get in the car and drive until I have no more pavement in front of me.

I took him back...and I wish I had not. He has ruined my life.

This may not be the case for you...just wanted to give you what I have been through.

God Bless.