Alcoholism Support Group

BTW... once I was hooked THEN they began to kick (deservedly) my ass.

I was drunk one morning (binge) and really on a pity path and wanted someone to cry to. well at 10 am I wasn't going to call the same ole people ( besides I thought i was hiding), so I called the AA hotline. thinking I would have someone to listen to my bullshit and pat me on the ass. well, long story short, she told me to run not walk to tuckers ( local detox/hospital ) and hung up. I was mad as hell, how dare she!!!! I had one more vodka and OJ and ran....Feb. 26, 2006

Ah, what bittersweet memories this topic recalls! In 1988, near the end of my drinking, I decided that my problem was cheap, rotgut liquor, so I upgraded my consumer profile by splurging on a liter of 100 proof Wolfschmidt vodka. I chugged down about eight ounces of it and sat there feelng stark raving nothing at all. In a fury I looked at the back label to see if they had an 800 number so I could call the cheapskates up to complain that they'd diluted the product. They didn't have a number, of course, and my mood quickly shifted to despondent self-pity.

Should I jump out the window or call the suicide hotline? The choices and their likely consequences raced through my mind like lightning on a hot summer night-- oh wait, it was winter. Didn't anybody care any more, not even the distillers? Again I plunged into the raging debate between my ears over the only obvious choices I had left, to leap from the window or call the hotline.

Then it struck me. Suddenly, and as if miraculously, I was transported into a moment of startling clarity as I saw the situation in front of me in sharper focus.

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I was in a ground floor apartment and I didn't have a telephone.

Nemo... lol

Thank you. This is beautiful. It has been the most unlikely who have saved my ass too:)

What got my attention was being with people that laughed, smiled, and generally seemed nice. I had always wanted to be a good person, and be with good people. I find being with people that are trying to recover is such a good thing. Many of us know what real pain is, and learning that we can smile again is such a good thing. All the best. James

Nemo, I like that .. "feeling stark, raving nothing at all." Wow. Thanks.

His name was/is Shorty and the time frame for this story is at least 12 years in length, but Shorty showed me that the best way to help a newcomer is to not become a newcomer yourself. You see, when I first came around the rooms of A.A. there was this little (hence the name Shorty) angry, disgruntled, miserable, foul-mouthed, nasty and dirty biker guy who had perhaps a year or so at the time and I remember deliberately avoiding being near to him because he radiated negative energies and never had a nice thing to say. I remember distinctly telling myself that if this is what sobriety did to him then I wanted no part of it. Eventually, I left and Shorty, thank God, he stayed. When I came back into the fellowship beaten into a state of reasonableness by my own actions 12 years later I had the privilege of going to a speaker meeting where guess who was the main speaker. What I saw up there at the podium had the same voice and looked a lot like Shorty, but the transformation in the way he carried himself was like night and day. In front of me was literally a different person, filled with joy, laughter, mirth and goodwill towards his fellows. He was the embodiment of happy, joyous and free and it seemed as I listened to him speak to be the result of him taking the 12 steps and having a vital spiritual experience. It was then that I knew that the program worked and that if I wanted what Shorty had then I had better begin to shop where Shorty shopped. Since this time I too have taken the 12 steps and have started down the road of happy destiny experiencing a vital spiritual awakening. Whenever I think of the word Gratitude, I also think of Shorty.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

I was at my first meeting, and sitting there, I listened to one of the speakers, and I got such a reality check I ran from the room and burst into tears on the front steps. I had heard my story from someone who didn't even look or sound like me. To hear it being spoken was surreal. I guess that was the first time I had listened. I spoke to that guy after that meeting, and the next, and the next, and I'm still here.
CM xxx

i was just sick of myself.i was like sitting watching myself destroy my life.kind of like i was screaming stop! as id pour another and i felt absolutely powerless in my own body.i had to reach out to mental hospital before i went to a/a.i was nuts i think at the time and both help me regain the power i now have over myself