Alcoholism Support Group

BTW... one of the first questions I always hear is "when does support turn BACK into enabling".

Well though my husband and I didn't fight about my drinking because I didn't even try to defend it, he made it clear that I needed to quit or I would die in an accident or in some other way related to my drinking, like falling down the stairs (which I did twice).

Diane what feelings did that dredge up. Attacked, beaten up, manipulation or did you see it as a reminder and an expression of love and concern?

I think that when I was in active addiction, people who I saw I could manipulate to get my needs met I did just that. When I wasn't committed to sobriety but not drinking, I still was using people to get my needs met. A person does not have to be an active addict to enable. Just living with hate, sneaky lies, no respect for self or others, to support this is enabling. There where a few who said no way to all this behavior, and it hurt terribly. I lost a lot of relationships due to drinking and not wanting to get better. I respect that they had to do this to protect themselves.

I dont think we can define what enabling is for every circumstance, but for me it was letting me get away with my using manipulative behavior with no consequences. It was me knowing that this person was a letting themselves be a doormat and treating them as such. You could just feel that they did not have it in them to set boundaries, and these boundaries are what the addict loves to test. Supporting and contributing to an addicts unhealthy spiritually bankrupt attitudes is enabling for me.

MIND, BODY AND SOLE. THREE DISTINCT REALITIES OF A HUMAN BEING. SPIRITUAL MALADY DELVES INTO THE CONSCIOUS/UNCONSCIOUS OF A HUMAN SOLE.

ALCOHOLISM AND ALL COMPLUSIVE DISORDERS ARE OF THE MIND.

AS FOR THE BODY, WELL, IT'S LIKE THE GINGER BREAD MAN AND MR HAND. SEEMS TO BE PART OF THE TRIAD THAT GETS ATTENTION ONLY AS A LAST RESORT.

HAVING BALANCE REQUIRES AWARENESS OF ALL THREE IN A REAL WORLD, BEING GROUNDED IN SELF, AND " THEN I APPROACH TRUE TOLERANCE AND LOVE OF OTHERS. " SOUND FAMILAR!

DRINKING ALCOHOL TO HIDE ALL THESE REALITIES IS TRULY, ONLY A SYMPTOM OF A MUCH DEEPER CONCERN.

Moldy sneakers and a rusty zip, the inescapable signs of the alcoholic. Yes you can allways tell the alcoholic , but you can't tell him much.

Nodp2day,

When I was drinking, I felt attacked especially because I had a buzz and didn't want to lose it. The best time to talk to someone is when they're sobering up but not necessarily when they're hung over either.

For one thing, I often didn't remember what my husband said when I was drunk so it was a waste of his time.

The only thing beyond Al Anon is On Anon...