Alcoholism Support Group

i appreciate everyone's responses. i'm still confused about it, but that has to do with the fact that i am confused and depressed in life...in general. i've been in and out of hospitals for depression, among other things, for 3 years. the alcohol thing has always been my "up in the air" issue. all my other problems are concrete. i know you'll say the opposite and i hope you do believe the opposite, but i feel like saying the words "i'm an alcoholic" is failure (to me, not applying to anyone else). i know drinking causes depression too, which is why i wouldn't do it that often, but i'm 22 and i want to be my age, go out and drink and be with my friends. i just never know when to stop. i don't know, it's all still parading around in my head with the other million things.

i really do appreciate the response, and i wish everyone the best. it's nice to know how others dealt, are feeling, what they do/did. it's nice to have someone listen to you for a change.

be careful sweetie, I know that you can feel like you just want to have fun with being your age and all, but I lost a few friends in college from drinking. It is a killer, no doubt, especially when we are young and seemingly invincible.

Hi. You know it's not the quantity of alcohol that makes us alcoholic. It's how it affects us. I never did like getting drunk. I just liked having a good buzz most of the time. I didn't even realize how it was affecting me, because I started drinking very early in life. Everything seemed all right with me. I often figured something was wrong, mostly when I was hungover and sick, or in trouble. Getting into recovery was never an intention of mine, but it was through treatment centers that I was able to see the truth. When I look back to my younger years I was really a mess, but had no idea. my relapses after some time sober taught me a bit about the change that alcohol caused in me. I was able to see that it changed my personality completly.. I wasn't the nice person that I thought I was. Alcohol created an illusion in my mind, and I literally saw everything in a differant way. From what you wrote, I would say that alcohol does affect you differant than, so called,"Normal people." Alcohol can affect us in many differant ways. Some of us have a hard time accepting the word alcoholic. Sometimes we have been brought up to beleive that alcoholics are the drunks in the park with a cheap bottle of sherry in a paper bag, but this is just sterio type thinking. Alcoholism can affect anyone. i like in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous where alcoholism is refered to as an alergy. That really helped me to understand it better. I have an alergy to alcohol, period. If I allow it to go in my system, I cannot predict anything. This is so true. Never once did I sit down and say, "I think I'll have a few beers and go to jail later." Or end up in the hospital, or lose my wife and kids, or as like you, think about suicide. That stuff doesn't happen when I don't drink. I can tell people that I will do something now, and it will get done. We can't help the fact that we are alcoholic, but we can take responsibility for it, and learn how to live sober. I hope you decide that. Really living can be so good sober. Life with alcohol is not living. It's a slow death that is full of misery. If you need help, stay here on D.S. You can post your problems, respond to others, and journaling is really great. Helps get in touch with you. There is also A.A.which is almost everywhere. It's a great support group, with people just like us. Hang in there. You are worth it, and you deserve it. we all do. All the best. James

i do journal, but i'm not sure AA is the way for me. i've been to al-anon and i've been with a friend at their meeting. there's too much religion thrown in your face, and i don't want to hear about god when i'm angry and depressed and trying not to be a 22 year old binge drinker. i have a therapist, and i used to be in regular groups in an outpatient facility for my other issues and you could talk about anything. i think i need something more like that. i don't really like to talk anyway, i listen more. i don't know, i appreciate you sharing your story though. i know what alcohol does to me, it's still hard to say the words though.

There is a point where when can see that for ourselves (denial) and must admit that we do have a problem or disease. Alcohol is a disease and u might not drink as much but every time you do u said something happens right?

usually, yes.

i understand exactly what everyone is saying. i know it's an issue, but it's actually saying the sentence "i'm an alcoholic" that i'm not ready to do. i'm just confused right now.

labels aren't needed at the beginning imo. Just think of it any way you would like, to me what does it matter as long as you are moving in the right direction. In those meetings btw, you dont have to talk, I really just listened myself for the first month. I dont think you need to agree with everything, not at all. Just make some friends, go to a meeting with a younger crowd (usually at a university) and get support. You would be surprised, not everyone in the AA meetings are there to cram their ideas down your throat, just want to help. You dont have to go to AA forever, just a good place to begin. Dont give up.

At this point if you are wondering if you are an alcoholic, AA meetings dont work for you, and you are confused then their is alot you are already admitting to yourself, you just dont want to believe it. This disease will do that to you. You can chose how you want to do about it. You wait until someone here tells you that it is ok and you will be fine. Which by the way is not what you need to hear. It may be what you want to hear. This is your life you are playing with. If you dont get help and get some solid sobriety behind you, it will kill you. So it comes down to a very basic choice. Life or death.