Alcoholism Support Group

Have you tried attending Al Anon meetings or reading the book? It is a life saver and you will find people who understand what you are going through and will help you. We don't need to suffer just because our loved ones are not living the life we think they should, and we can fine hope and serenity despite whether the alcoholic in our life is drinking or not. You can learn to set boundaries and also learn to detach with love.

The Al Anon 3 C's

"We didn't cause it
We can't control it
We can't cure it
Detatch with love"


The more you learn about alcoholism and the powerlessness of the alcoholic, the less you may feel like blaming him or trying to "fix" his disease.

hello,
first thank for your support.
and we have both been to support groups and i have read books. Its just that I so tired of going through this with him. I love my husband very much but i cant get it through to him that he could be slowly killing himself with
all the drinking not to mension that he is
pushing me away a person can only deal with so much.And right now there is enough going on in the family without having to worrie about if he is drinking. You see he hides it and tell me no im not drinking. But how stupid does he think I am i know when he has.
They we have a fight over it. I have threateened to leave many times with the kids
but the truth is I love hime to much and want to help him get through this. But then there is this other part thats says just leave he will never change.

hello,
first thank for your support.
and we have both been to support groups and i have read books. Its just that I so tired of going through this with him. I love my husband very much but i cant get it through to him that he could be slowly killing himself with
all the drinking not to mension that he is
pushing me away a person can only deal with so much.And right now there is enough going on in the family without having to worrie about if he is drinking. You see he hides it and tell me no im not drinking. But how stupid does he think I am i know when he has.
They we have a fight over it. I have threateened to leave many times with the kids
but the truth is I love hime to much and want to help him get through this. But then there is this other part thats says just leave he will never change.

Mine's (X now) is trying to kill himself too and he may just succeed.
26 years and a 12 pack a night.
More on weekends.
I quit 12 years before I left him.
Al-Anon was the LAST place I was going to go and learn to live with what I used to be and when refuses to get help for something he knows damn well is a problem.

Sad thing is that I too, loved him when I divorced him but I was NO match to his affair with his drinking. :(

Since I stopped drinking, its like my husband is a stranger. I watch him killing himself with his drinking, he tries to hide it from me, even tried to blame me for his excessive drinking, that he is trying not to drink in front of me (lie), I sit every evening "alone" as he is asleep by 8 p.m. or earlier as he's had too much to drink.

He keeps saying he will try, and is good for couple of days....

I was alone for 18 years before I married him....and now I'm alone and married....I don't know what the answer is......except that I no longer drink and have regained my life.....maybe one day he will too???

As you probably already know, there is nothing you can do to change him. The best that you can do is take care of you. sometimes, as hard as it may be, t5hat may mean getting yourself out of the situation. Sometimes we can do more good by not being in the situation. It helps to remove ourselves emotionally so that we can be more reasoning and logical about the situation. If he's hiding the fact that he's drinking it might be because he's ashamed, or that he's just in plain denial. Either way he is not facing his problem and taking responsibility for it. Unfortunatly you may be also helping his problem rather than helping him by letting things go on. It's through the consequences of our actions that leads us to feel the pain we need to feel that leads us to want to change. It's only when the pain gets so bad that we seek help, or want change. It might be the best thing you can do for him by leaving him and helping him to feel the pain that he needs. Whatever you do I wish the best. you may also want to try Al Anon. Best of luck, and may God bless you. James

I damned near killed myself too cause of alcohol and drugs. I tell you we don't see until something happens, that be jail,institutions or death. I took it to deaths door, I had overdosed a couple of times.Just take care of yourselves.

Oh wow, have you looked at alanon for youself. It's a common story. I hope you loved one can find what I found in recovery. Thank you for posting

Hi,
I am sorry for your predicament.
My story is the flip side of yours...My husband quit drinking, 10 years prior to me, and in my opinion he wasn't a very "bad drunk" like I was.
I would not, and could not, stop drinking...
There was, nothing my dear husband could do to get me to stop.
I am sober now, by the grace of god, but frankly , my husband had nothing to do with it...but oh maybe just a little bit.

What he did do, was, finally take care of himself.
Yes he did leave me...that did not stop my drinking, but it let me face me alone without him letting me lean on him anymore.
I found I was too sick to take life without my crutches..(booze and my husband).
So I was faced, as my world crumbled more and the noose tightened around my neck ever so tighter, to take action for my drinking problem.
I got into treatment and joined AA.

Today, as I am a divorced recovering alcoholic, I am the very best of friends with my ex-husband now.
I am discovering myself, learning to take responsibility for my self (my this is quite a learning curve!). and am beginning to love myself.
The one thing someone who is in the clutches of this very serious disease cannot do in active addiction is love themselves...and it is so true in my opinion, that you cannot love others properly until you begin to love yourself.
My husband did himself a service, by leaving me, and he went through a lot!!!!
And he did me a service by taking away a support system that was allowing me to continue to kill myself on a daily basis, of liquor consumption, dishonest denial and irresponsibility.
.
This is a family disease, and those family members of the alcoholic get just as sick as the alcoholic. When everyone stays untreated, there is no solution.

You cannot make his solution, but you can start yours, Al-Anon is a good bet! I am a member of AA and Al-Anon.
Then, you never know, you may just start something and he may take note and look at his situation more seriously before it kills him...
There is hope, to be sure, but you can only take care of you.
Al-Anon can teach you how to detach from his alcoholism, not him...with love.
I'd say your both worth that try!
Best wishes...

My S.O. of 14 years DID kill himself from alcohol in 2000. He dealt with a serious illness with alcohol. He stole off me for months and was drinking $50.00 a day on booze. His death and the trauma of finding I was robbed surely sent me over the edge. Please tell your husband about his demise, he suffered a terrible end. His whole body shut down and they kept him alive for too many hours of agony without a hope of curing him. If anyone ever set a better example of what alcohol does to the body and soul, it was this man I spent so much of my life with. Please let your husband know it is not too late yet, but at some point in the near future, it will be. I wish you the best of luck with this insurmountable burden who are strapped down with.