Alcoholism is a powerful craving for alcohol which often results in the compulsive consumption of alcohol, an addiction. The cause of this craving is heavily debated, but the most ...
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Relapse prevention thought
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I was at a relapse prevention group this week the.....I was presented with a thought causing me to pause:
Acceptance - Keep in mu=ind that a part of you may always be tempted to give in the pressure to drink. Learn to accept and live with this aspect of yourself, because it's not likely to go away completely. Usually, the part of you that wants to use is strongest in the first few weeks and months after you stop using. I guess two things came up for me in considering this statement. 1) I have been hearing considerable talk of the desire to drink being "lifted" at AA meetings. I will tell you this, my desire to drink has not been lifted, and I kept thinking that when it did , then I would stop drinking. 2) I realized that I don't like to disbelieve myself. Recognizing the paradox of that. When my addict brain tells me I WILL feel better with a drink, or I WILL freakin' explode if I don't have one...well then, I believe myself despite all evidence to the contrary. So, being presented with this concept/reality. I part of me will always want to drink, get used to it, thank it for thinking of me, and move right on by. What I mean by thanking it is sort of this...there is some protection in drinking for me. Some, if not all, of us have depression, PTSD, anxiety, poor coping skills...alot resulting from difficult or impossible childhoods. I do, and at some times in my life, drinking was self medication, and worked. Even now, when I feel so much confusion and anxiety and don't know what to do, alcohol makes me fell better - for a moment only, but that moment is such a relief before it degrades into abject drunkenness. Part of me is still trying to protect me, part of me is an addict and part of me is a struggling child trying to figure out a confusing and impossible world. I guess rather than condemnation, which I've had enough of in my time, I should recognize this voice, accept that there is some kindness in it, some well meaning - thank that part of myself for caring but no thanks, and move on Posted on 07/17/08, 12:07 pm |
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Beautiful!!!! Love this idea!!!! I think it will help me as well as yourself, if we can stay in that place... ah... mindful... when the urge hits, and the "lie...of exploding." It reminds me of something Thich Nah Hanh writes about concerning "habit energy"...whether to a substance, emotion, or anything destructive in our lives... acknowledge it, he phrases it as, "I see you..._______ insert the habit. I know you are there. I can take care of you the "right" way," and then release it...(some sort of visualization), and be greatful it was there to show you an area of your life that needed attending to... Great Post, thanks so much! Have a lovely evening, Tammie 
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I don't dwell on the past, but I always remember. That day when everything was gone and I was contemplating suicide. The day where I finally gave up and decided to live or die. The day I last drank. That's what I think of when I'm tempted to have a drink. I refuse to let myself fall for the bullshit that a drink will make me feel better. It would. It would feel so good that it would probably kill me inside of a month. I think of that day at that moment where I looked up ways to kill myself on the internet and the craving goes away. I can't go to that place again. I might just as well suck on a gun barrel than a bottle of beer.
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Thanks guys you both said things that made a lot of sense to me. It`s only been a month for me (again) and I`ve come real close lately "but for the grace of God" didn`t and I`m hoping that the more I can resist it - it will become second nature for me. Because it`s been a long road of relapses for me and I justnever seem to grasp how these people have years and years of sobriety.
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Interesting concept. Anything that helps you to recovery is a winning idea.
I was too far gone to exercise any will power or self-reasoning, I had no power left for me and so I had to find spiritual power and that is what worked for this alcoholic through the programme of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.
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