|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #1 -
10/11/08
12:45am
|
I would suggest that you go to AA meetings. Listen for similarities not differences and keep going and don't drink inbetween meetings.
As far as relationship is concerned if one goes from one serious relationship into another the chances of success are not good and it only delays the pain. I would suggest you spend at least six months for every year of the serious relationship in self retrospection figuring out who you are, what you did wrong and what you want prior to even considering another relationship. 
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #2 -
10/12/08
7:57am
|
I agree with Reed. It's not how often or how much you drink ~ it's what it does to you. You've already said that it turns you into someone you don't want to be. Usually if you THINK you might have a drinking problem, you usually do.
Some people can be binge drinkers, and drink ALOT only on the weekends or once a month ~ and still be alcoholics. It's the fact that the person cannot stop at just ONE drink. Have you ever had 1/2 a beer or a drink and just left it, without finishing it?? When you're out with friends, can you stop at one or two?
Why not try some meetings and listen to some of their stories? Maybe you'll see yourself in some of them. If not, then you haven't lost anything, right? God bless and take care.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #3 -
10/12/08
8:10am
|
Going to AA would also visibley show your guy that you are serious. Tell him everything. Tell you have a problem, you kicked the habit for awhile, but that you are going to need support to stay off alcohol.
AA will give you the needed support and prove that you are serious.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #4 -
10/12/08
9:10am
|
It may be time for you to put your focus on getting sober.When I drank it was not possible for me to have a relationship with anyone,including my ex wife because I only thought about myself.And although your current guy seems great at the moment,if you really get after sobriety and make the changes it takes to be sober he may or may not fit into the scheme of things so well.There's far more to being sober than just not drinking.Don't count on just going a couple of weeks without a drink being all you need to do to be sober.It takes a lot of work and courage to get after what's inside you that makes you want to drink in the first place.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #5 -
10/12/08
9:47am
|
Drinking has ruined many of my past relationships too. My father was a big alcoholic too and has been married numerous times. I could write a book about the ludacris stuff I've done when I have been drunk. Sometimes I question why my partner is with me. What if I completely gain control? Will he pursue someone else he can control?
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #6 -
10/12/08
9:48am
|
I really feel for you. You feel a little angry and sad, don't you? At least, not just angry. I used to have the attitude,,,"If you don't like me, too bad, drinking or not!"
I think I would leave it at rest and just try to take care of yourself. I need to follow my own advice too! take care.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #7 -
10/12/08
11:09am
|
like mari, drinking really ruined so many relationships for me too. I guess they weren't meant to be, but boy did I embarrass myself and disappoint a lot of suitors. I was a happy drunk, but would go to far in my glee and fall down stairs, hug strange men, and more. Like a drunk cupie doll back then, it was not a nice site. It is time for you to focus on you, and that is great that you have 2 weeks sobriety under your belt. I think that it would help to meet other sober folks in your area, and AA is a great way to begin. Just hang in there.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #8 -
10/12/08
12:19pm
|
This is a real chance for you to change your life in ways that will fulfill you and allow you to be the very best parts of you. I hope you are able to maintain your relationship with your boyfriend, but if you are alcoholic you can't have any trusting and beautiful relationships with anyone while drinking is still part of your life. I agree that AA is the answer. Go to some meetings and work the steps...promises really do come true. I wish you the very best.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #9 -
10/12/08
12:35pm
|
It, takes time to heal ourselves, then we can do something about repairing the hurt and damage our drinking caused.The 12 steps kind of make it a more logical process. Don't take the first drink no matter what happens, also don't be too hard on yourself, we have been in your position.It's wonderful that you are sober, yes wonderful
If you can meet other sober people in recovery, it is very helpful.Alone it was too much for us, but together WE CAN.
|
|
|
|
View More Posts
Ignore
|
Reply #10 -
10/12/08
10:04pm
|
Thank you so much for all your advice! I am going to try to go to a meeting. i have a lot on my plate right now. So I hope that I can keep up with people on here. I wanted to have a drink this weekend, but didn't because i knew that it would just make things worse. I am a such a people pleaser that it is hard for me to focus on me.
|
|
|
