Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

But if they learn that there is a consequence to an action, then they are less apt to do that action. If they are scared of the punishment then just maybe they won't do what it is that will give them the spanking? KWIM?

We're all different and that makes the world go round....unfortunately, it also makes this discussion go round and round and round...I'm dizzy!! Wait, I was like that before today LOL

Yes this discussion has become heated at times, but I will say that each and EVERY one of the replies on here is correct. What works for me or what I believe in is molded by who I am and where I come from. Jadzia is the same way, she is right for how she parents and what she believes-it all comes from who she is and where she comes from-it breaks my heart to hear what you went through growing up, Jadzia. Honestly, I would probably feel the same way about spanking if I had grown up in those conditions too.

I was spanked growing up, but it was done not in anger and I deserved every swat I ever got! My parents didn't terrorize us and when they were finished, life went on. We knew that they loved us and there were very few times that spankings ever had to be done. This is what I do and it works for me, but if I had grown up in a different home, I don't know how I would feel. It makes me angry when society and the so called "experts"-and I am not talking about anyone on here because we know more that the supposed experts do, lol-tell me that I am wrong or bad-no I am just different. No person has the same background and no person lives their life the same, we are all different and different things work for different people. The poorly behaved children that I have spoken of are ones that my son attends school with and honestly, I want to spank their parents-or at least take something away, :)-for not being better parents to these kids. I have been on every field trip that my son's classes have taken and I have never had a problem with any of these children-because they know that I mean what I say and I don't put up with junk-but they also love me-every year I go in on the last day of school and all of the class hugs me right after the teacher, so they aren't scared of me and I honestly feel that they do respect me, but then I see them interact with their parents and they are wild and unruly and I also see that the parents are ignoring them and neglecting them. The thing that each and every one of us here should be spitting mad at, is not whether to spank or not, but what to do about poor parenting. Pro spank or not, if you took the time and thought to reply to this discussion, you are not a bad parent. We all love our children and discipline them in the manner that we see fit-we are doing our jobs as parents. The people that my anger and comments are directed at are not even on this site, because they don't care enough to put the effort into wondering how to raise their children. We come here and debate and get hot under the collar, but we are all on the same side. I respect everyone's opinion on this discussion-I might not agree, but I respect it. I am grateful that I have participated in this discussion, because I do have a better understanding of the "other side" of the debate and like I have already said that I might feel differently if I came from a different background. I hope that we all can try to see the other's view point and realize that we are on the same side-pro parenting!

I'd like to think I would only spank and have managed to avoid it so far.

We have a couple we're friends who decided to forgo spanking their 8yo after she broke the ping pong paddle she used for spanking. Spanking just wasn't working for them.

I meant to say:

I'd like to think I would only spank "when absolutely necessary" and have managed to avoid it so far.

We have a couple we're friends with who decided to forgo spanking their 8yo after she broke the ping pong paddle she used for spanking. Spanking just wasn't working for them.

Yes, I do believe in spanking when the occasion calls for it. If you have talked to your child and they are just totally refusing to comply. Even though you have given them consequences for there actions!

I don't spank my kids, we use natural consequences and our kids are really well behaved most of the time. When they do something wrong they can easily anticipate the consequences of their actions. Kids don't deserve to be assaulted...no matter what they have done.

Most definately, i believe in spankings
growing up i never was spanked, i was a total brat, and got worse growing up into my teenage yrs. I don't want my kids growing up like i did thinking that they can get away with things. 1 thing though i never spank out of anger.

discipline(spanking) is not assault!

That's the biggest problem everyone has there own defintion of discipline.

I use spanking too. I have 3 kids. I also use other methods first, but some offenses warrant an immediate spanking. I don't know about ya'll, but when I was a kid that's just what happened. There was no "time out". I'm not a serial killer or psychopath, are you? These kids now a days have no respect for anything. I don't know how religious you are, but the bible makes it clear--" spare the rod, spoil the child."

Nope, absolutely not. I'm all for everyone using their own methods, but spanking will not happen in my house or to my kids. I've never had to even swat my son's hand away from something. A firm voice, getting down on my knees so I can look him in the eyes and using tools such as the 'naughty corner' have worked perfectly. If he gets out of order, I do NOT give in - no matter how hard he cries or how much he rants. I ignore it. And I believe this has been a strength in our relationship - he's not terrified of me, but he knows that I mean business.