Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

So, I had to post this because normally, it doesn't bother me but I wanted to get your feedback.

My daughter has a BUNCH of friends--all boys. She's fairly girly (likes to dress-up, likes "fashion", likes make-up, likes barbies) but all the people she hangs with (except one--and I'll get to her in a second) are boys. My daughter likes animals, lizzards, bugs, snakes, etc. and is very outdoorsy and I think that's part of why she likes to hang with the boys.

The ONE girl she hangs with is NOT very nice at all. She's sassy, bossy, and very stuck-up. Here's an example. For my daughter's birthday, we invited her (only her) out to dinner to celebrate then to come back here for cake. During dinner, (sometime around the middle of eating) she looks at my daughter and says "Y'know, you should pick a BETTER restaurant next time." (YES, this is another 7 year old--my parents heard the comment, also and were completely apalled that a 7 year old would say that to her "friend" about her birthday dinner choice). Later on, after a quick conversation at dinner about how this child doesn't like frosting, she gets all annoyed when we get home because the cake has frosting on it and says to me (in a higher than mighty tone) "I SAID I didn't like frosting" (like I'm supposed to make another cake for just HER???). She's made comments to other children who are not in our gifted program that they aren't popular if they aren't in gifted or they aren't smart if they aren't in gifted (i've heard her make these comments and have tried to averted self-esteem damage by saying, "People are put in gifted because their brains work differently, not because they're smarter or more popular."). And I am completely freaking out that my daughter will pick this garbage up. We don't roll that way in my house and I don't INVITE this child over or offer to invite her over. And, she invite my daughter over but I try to be "busy". I know that you can't control who your kid's friends are...and I know, at least with my daughter, if I make it into an issue that I don't care for this girl, my daughter will make it into a battle of wills. So what I have been doing is everytime my daughter brings something that this child said to my attention , or if she says stuff in front of both of us, we discuss it. I think my kid is slowly getting the hint that she's not nice and that she makes people feel not so good about themselves.

But, my question is, has anyone else experienced anything similiar? And what do you think I should do about this girl and all the boys she hangs out with. She'll tell me that there is no "drama" in hanging out with the boys and that's why she likes being with them. She can run around, catch lizzards and bugs, and be "buddies" with them and she's happy to do that. There are no other girls in my daughter's class that she is interested in hanging out with...I've tried. All of our other friends either have boys or their girls are tweens.

HELP!!!
Posted on 05/16/07, 07:05 am