This community is focused on the joys, challenges and frustrations faced by parents of 3 to 5 year olds. The major areas of child development include:
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Bed time routine
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Since the beginning my kids have always needed my husband or I to lay down with them until they fall asleep. We have a system down. I lay down with our 2 year old first, she falls asleep within 10 minutes. Then I lay down with my 4 year old. We talk and tell stories for about 20 minutes or so then my husband comes in and lays down with her for no more than 10 minutes and she's asleep as well. They don't have a problem with taking their naps alone at daycare and both of them know that we leave as soon as they fall asleep. Sometimes in the middle of the night my oldest will come in and ask one of us to come to bed with her for a few minutes to rub her back so that she can go back to sleep. That's it though.
Quite a few of my friends think that we're doing more harm by not allowing them to learn how to fall asleep on their own. I just don't know how to break the habit nor do I think either my husband or I want to. What do you other parents think? Posted on 09/19/07, 08:09 pm |
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I think only you really knows what's bedtfor your child and if you and your husband enjoy that one on one time then why not. If they sleep OK at daycare I would think no harm done. I stay with my 3 year old and we talk about somethig he wants to talk about, I just tell him when the clock says "8:30" mommy goes downstairs. My husband like to stay til he sleeps, not crazy about it since with the newborn we don't have much time together but he sees it as his special time with our son and how can that be a bad thing? 
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People have all kinds of opinions about bed time that keep changing over the years. I think if you don't mind then it's no big deal. Do what feels right for you.
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My step-son gets two books and then we take turns sitting with him until he is asleep. Sometimes he wakes up at night, but we put him back to bed and he is asleep again in just a few minutes.
I didn't do this routine with my older children, I read them a couple books and then lights out and goodnight. My step-son had his routine already established. I have helped my partner wing him from having to be completely held, just for our own sanity. I also feel that if you don't feel it is a big deal then it shouldn't be.
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I agree with "Scottsmom." Do what feels right for you. If you enjoy that time with your children, than by all means, continue. If it's cutting into your alone or couple time and it's putting stress on you and your hubby, than you should probably work on a new routine.
Personally, I lay down with my kids too. When I have a lot to do, it does stress me out that they want me in there but other nights I cherish that sweet, relaxing time with them. And trust me, this won't last forever so enjoy it while you can.
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Thanks all, yeah part of me would like to say lights out and let them go to sleep but another part of me is dreading when they actually say they don't need me in there with them anymore...
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I can't see the problem here hun you sound like genuine loving parents, some times i wish i had more patience with mine, they are your children treasure them as much as you want X I listen to advice but i do wot i think is best, thats all we can do
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Hi! I am educated in sleep and particularly fond of Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Here is my humble opinion. Your kids are in daycare, yes? What this sounds like to me is their desire to be with you is overriding their desire and need to sleep. Is there any way to spend more time with them during waking hours? I mean, trust me I know it's hard if you are both working.
People have said this and I agree... do what feels right for you. If laying with them is what YOU want to do, then have at it. I don't think they have trouble soothing themselves to sleep, i tihnk they just wanna be with you. One more thing, though. You should try to work on "training" your daughter not to come to your bed. Mid-night waking is not good for her or you, and can lead to sleep deprivation. If you are interested in how to do this (according to Dr. Weissbluth) message me. Good luck!
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I have done almost this exact same routine with my sons since they were babies and I am a stay at home Mom. I am a huge supporter of attachment parenting, and as long as they are getting enough rest, I'd say they are fine and you are doing a great job.
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my kids use to be like that and it was hard on me cause I had things to do as far as my studies, cleaning etc. I think its important for them to learn to put themself to sleep and my son was 2 1/2 before we accomplished this with him or should I say started! I always layed with him and his sister who is younger so at 2 1/2 we changed that and my daughter was 13mos. Once we got them adjusted I felt so relieved I finally had time to myself again! They are now 3 and 4 and sleep im their own rooms and go to sleep on their own. We do a bed time routine which includes story time, brushing teeth, putting PJ on and we tuck them in. I also sing each kid twinkle twinkle little star it takes about 30min but its fun and afterward usually they go right to bed. So its really up to you but I do think they need to be taught to put themself to bed.
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