Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group

My 4yo daughter has a temper & a half (some would say she gets that from her Mummy). Crying, yelling & stamping may be the result of something as insignificant as being reminded to wash her hands. We use time-out. If she doesn't stop carrying on after a couple of verbal warnings she has a "thinking chair" which she must sit in until she calms down. It's hugs all round when she's relaxed & I usually get a "sorry Mummy". As long as we are reasonably consistent with this, her tantrums seem to lessen in frequency & intensity. She still turns it on, but not as often; perhaps just testing to see if the consequence is still there?

Hi,
I'm actually seeking some professional help as my daughter who just turned 4, has been having some violent episodes over simple things also... I expecting she may be showing early signs of OCD, she's gone into these rituals where her food needs to be prepared a certain way and look a certain way, she will get into fits where she will wash her hands and wash her hands.
I don't know. I'm really worried about mine and her reactions. I don't meet violence with violence. I don't typically spank her.
I try to distract her by, "I can tell your upset can we talk about it?" Or I can tell this is upsetting you let's read a book or watch a video. Although, it's a huge challenge for me, I try not to scream back, if she's hitting me I don't hit her back, etc. If she's exploded, that's enough, I don't explode also. It's really hard, especially since I'm an exploder ( I don't know if that's a word)
I definately need more constructive tools and if I get some from this child therapist, I'll be happy to pass them on for free. I'm going to send you a hug so I can keep trak of you.
Take care and I wish you the best...

my son is 3.5 and also has these violent tantrums - typically when tired.
I just dont react to him at all (Very hard to do), pick him up, put him somewhere out of the way and leave him to scream and shout to his hearts content. After a few minutes (sometimes more) I pick him up and give him a huge hug and ask for a sorry. Sometimes I get one and sometimes not but we always have a hug and kiss. Then its back to business as usual and typically he's forgotten about it after a few minutes

i read so many things about 4 year olds and their moods, i'm starting to feel relief.

i'm with babybrain! the less attention the tantrums get, the fewer the tantrums. they still happen, and it takes time...my little one is separated if he's hurting someone. i regularly wonder if he's going to be an actor when he grows up. the drama, the drama.


don't get me wrong. it is frustrating as HELL, and hard not to respond....but we are working through it and it is improving.

with all that i read, i honestly think some of it is normal for the age.

best wishes.

My 4yr old is THEE drama queen. SHe has a whiny voice, that my sister insists won't go away EVER, and insists that I smack her in the head, the face, the butt, you name it I've hit her there...all untrue, but she is a good storyteller.

She also says that she is stupid and fat...far from either....but I chalk it up to being a phase and age appropriate to be dramatic. Sometimes distractions help, but usually not. We fell that we need to enforce the fact that it's not ok to act in the way that she has and send her off to her room, where she continues the screaming and whining and saying that we hate her and such. When she gets real out of line, she gets a spanking--there's always going to be a debate about this, but if you feel that it's warranted, give the spanking.

There are many of us going through the same thing, so even though it's no fun to be a part of, it's a phase and I'm sure she'll grow out of it.