Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

First of all, I wouldn't call it snooping to check his messages. In my opinion it is o.k. that we see what are kids are up to. I check my kids myspace all the time to make sure there is no funny business. It is our job to know whats going on with them and obviously they aren't always going to come right out and tell us. Secondly, I would sit down with your son and have a heart to heart conversation with him. I know this may be difficult but it is the first step. Explain to him why supplying marijuana could get him into trouble that could change his entire future. I'm reading a new book right now that is so interesting about teen agers it is called Get out of my Life but first could you take Cheryl and to the mall? By Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D. I would reccommend it for some insight into the new teenagers of today. It talks about drug use and teenagers and it says to talk to them and try to be honest and not preach at them. They think they know more than us about everything at this point so keep it simple and truthful. And tell him where you draw the line and what is expected of him. Good luck to you.

I don't feel that your checking up on him is snooping. It is a parents right to see if everything is going on alright in their children's lives.
Yes, you should sit down and talk about what you found. You should also point out what can happen if the police had found it on him. Also, depending on what he wants to do for a career, having something like marijuana found by the police could be a black mark on him for the rest of his life.
Also, he has good grades and very attactive in sports. He might want to find a job when he is 16. Most companies now do drug testing before they will hire anyone to work for them. I know some parents would say don't make a big deal out of it but I personal feel that there should be a big deal made out of it. Because it is against the law, and all of our lives we will have laws and rules to follow and should follow them.

I would do whatever it takes to make certain he stops. This could lead to other behaviors. Drugs are progressive as they progress he declines. Satan loves to target a pastors kid. I will pray for his protection.

You must have had some concerns or you would not be snooping. Lots of "good kids" use pot and other drugs (including alcohol). I would say that our son fell into that category when he got caught. Here are 4 things that we did that were helpful and proved to be a positive turning point.

1. When our son was caught with pot, we did a room/house search together for all other drugs and paraphernalia.

2. We took him to the pediatrician and had him drug tested (you can get a home kit) and had a consult with the physician. The short term agreement was for additional random tests over the next 6 months.

3. Went to counseling - to determine whether this was a passing teen experience or something that needed serious attention (addiction, depression, etc.) He ended up going to counseling on his own (rather than family) to deal with peer pressure, stress, etc. It turned out to be a positive experience.

We put told him that we would be screening calls (paid for the listings on the cell), limit activities and check up on his where-abouts until we could get to some level of trust again. Trust was important and so this was something he wanted to work on.

We know too many parents who have looked the other way and regretted this; we are glad that we took a firm but loving stand (loved him but not the behaviors) and worked this out. We all grew from the experience.

Finally, recommend the book "Yes Your Teen is Crazy". Good Luck!

All great advice! I, too, would recommend "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy". I found it extremely helpful.

Hi again, I wanted to add a comment about the drug testing. There are pros and cons. If your son is going to be participating in something that requires the MD release the results of drug testing; consider a home test first. Also it's the screening through a doctor's office is expensive even if you have health insurance. Consider too, the relationship between your son and his doctor; a good one makes all the difference in the conversation that follows the test --- whether the test is positive or negative for drug use of any kind. Actually, the test gave us peace of mind that things weren't out of control and it also sent the message that we take this seriously as a health issue for which he was accountable. Hope this helps you think about options that are a best fit for you and your family.

Was the stuff stashed for your son or stashed by your son? Maybe he's not using, maybe he's selling and trying to make money... If that's the case get him a work permit and let him earn his money the right way. If he is using then I would do exactly as the other posters said. Either way I wish you the best of luck and please keep us updated.. My son is turning 15 soon, and as much as I want to think I won't be facing this, I very well could be. I'm sure you thought you'd never face this either..

"B honor roll, and is a 3 sport athlete"

I'd get copy of "the emperor wears no clothes" by Jack Herer, you can read the whole book online for free : http://www.jackherer.com/chapters....


also get a copy of http://www.amazon.com/Illegal-Drug...

If he is giving up the pipe's/papers and pot ect, it would look to me like he was geting out so to speak. get the books, make them coffee table decoration for a couple months.

Keep checking messages to see if its not him walking away on his own and only confront him if you find reason to again.

Give him a chance to do the right thing, it sounds like he has a history of someone that makes good decisions, I would work from that point and not confront him and bust the bubble just yet.