What is Ages 12-18 Teenagers

Adolescence is the period of psychological and social transition between childhood and adulthood (gender-specific, manhood, or womanhood). Someone in Adolescence is called a Teenag...

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I took a parenting class when my first-born was three years old and I was at a loss on how to discipline without the corporal punishment I was raised with. I needed to learn new parenting techniques.

In the course we learned about postive re-inforcement and children's self-esteen, which is oh-so important. It was likened to a bowl of candies. Let's assume the bowl is half full. It would be our goal to fill that bowl to the top. Everytime as parents, we lose it, take out one candy (we are allowed to lose it to a certain degree, we are human). For every candy we take out, we need to replace it with two! To replace the candies, we need to do something positive with or for our child, even if it is just verbally recognizing an achievement, however large or small.

We are all human and I believe we sometimes just get caught up in the day to day and don't stop to realize how much negativity we may be bringing into our childrens' lives. I am aware of this through the course I took, however, I have time and time again observed parents constantly nagging their kids and never praising them. I guess it just becomes a habit. We are quick to point out the bad rather than the good.

Why don't we change some of the negatives in this forum into positives? How about we post something good that our kids did on here once a week? We can call it Bragging Rights.

I'll start.

Today my son (15) came home from school. I have a german dinner planned tonight, Pork Schnitzel. He is so looking forward to it that he is bugging me. He has offered to help me prepare the dinner. First we cut up a pork loin and tenderize even more by pounding it. So, I'm going to cut, he's going to pound it. Then we dredge the meat in seasoned flour, then dip it in egg, then bread it in seasoned bread crumbs. He's going to help me with the seasoning part so he can learn what goes in it. He is also going to do either the flour dredging or the bread crumbs. Then it needs to rest so the coating won't come off when we fry it. He thinks it's fun to cook (always has). It gives us some quality time together. We chat while we work. And because he is doing something hands on, he will reap the rewards of his hard work at dinner time when I tell everyone this great dinner is courtesy of my son! Positive re-inforcement. And it doesn't hurt that he's learning a few cooking skills along the way (he has already taken cooking in school and because I love cooking, both my boys have taken an interest in it).

It works!

Gotta run... the kid is getting impatient to get going on dinner!
Posted on 03/29/07, 02:03 pm
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Reminder: This is a support group for Parenting Teenagers (12-18). We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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Reply #1 - 03/30/07  1:39am
" My daughter hates to cook but when I woke this afternoon she had made taco salad. It was very good and she was pleased with herself. I was surprized that she took it on herself to prepare supper. "
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Reply #2 - 03/30/07  1:06pm
" See, this is what I'm talking about! Great story! Hope you gave her lots of praise and made a big deal about it. It will only encourage her to do it again or something else nice for you. Her chest will start to fill out with pride... This really works guys!!! "
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Reply #3 - 03/30/07  1:34pm
" Have made that before, but never knew the tip of 'resting' the breaded pork, to help the breadcrumbs stick better, will try that soon!
All my three love to cook, but the sweetest gesture came from my now 13yr old, when he was 10. He especially got up early before me, and cooked me a full fry! Being Irish, a full fry is sausages, bacon, eggs, and grilled tomatoes, and toast. I was over the moon with the thought and the honour. He still loves cooking, and I also tell people in front of him, how he made me the most fabulous fry ever! He was talking about his friend the other day, and said 'mum' you won't believe it, but hes not even allowed to put the kettle on, and told me he doesn't know how to! Its a lovely idea all you suggested, and would be even lovelier, if we all did more of it... "
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Reply #4 - 03/31/07  5:14am
" I was concerned I did not give her enough praise so I did today. She said"dad mom gave me ten dollars today for it." I fear what happens next time if she gets no tip. I guess we covered praise anyway. "
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Reply #5 - 03/31/07  1:48pm
" Mic, I read your last post about my idea about saying positive things about our teenagers. You know, while money should not be the only motivator, I view it as a valuable learning tool also.

Sometimes I rewarded my boys with money, other times hugs and outrageous praise. We're talking REALLY big praise. Even mentioning what they did to your friends (making sure your teen is in hearing distance). It makes them feel so good about themselves, which doesn't seem to happen often at this difficult age. As for the money part, the way I see it, it's a fact of life. Our hard work and effort is rewarded with money. The more we study/work, the more money we will make. They go hand in hand further on down the road of life. So don't be predictable and vary the rewards. But big praise is the best. "
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