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Hi all, I'm new here well kind of I had to leave but am back. Anyway, I just need some advice.
My daughter is 2.5 and is an only child. I do not get along well with other women. Countless playgroups I've tried but can't stand the gossip, backstabbing, etc that goes on. I take her to parks, but parents don't watch their kids and I get sick of having to correct other children when my daughter gets thrown down a slide by a kid twice her size and age. Anyway, she is by no means getting enough interaction with other children and she LOVES other children. So, hubby and I have decided after alot of research to put her in a Montessori school 3 days a week. I think it's going to be GREAT for her and for me, I need to get myself back. I've been doing some stupid things out of depression and anxiety over feelings of not doing enough for her. SO, she starts Monday and will be going Mon, Wed, Fri. from like 9-3. I'm VERY impressed with their program it's expensive and it's going to hurt us until I find a job but I know in my hear it will be SO good for her and myself. But, why am I feeling so sick inside? She is my world, my life, my everything but I know I have to do what is best for her and myself. Sorry to ramble on I'm just so sick over this. Also, she's not potty trained yet and they said they will help train her. But the thought of someone changing my daughers diaper that I don't know....UGH...is this all normal to feel this way??? Thank you to anyone that responds I need some other mommy input right now BAD! :0) Posted on 07/09/08, 09:07 am |
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I feel the same way as you do. I stopped working when my daughter was about 4 months old. And I have been with her since then she is now going to be 3 at the end of this month. I am having a hard time thinking about preschool. She is now potty trained but, when she was in diapers the thought of her being changed by someone else really bothered me. someone else doing the duties that should be done by me did also. There is nothing wrong with you and I have gotton that feeling too. well I have no advice but, wanted to let you know that it's normal to feel that way..unless we are the only weird women in the world lol.... 
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I feel the same way as you do. I stopped working when my daughter was about 4 months old. And I have been with her since then she is now going to be 3 at the end of this month. I am having a hard time thinking about preschool. She is now potty trained but, when she was in diapers the thought of her being changed by someone else really bothered me. someone else doing the duties that should be done by me did also. There is nothing wrong with you and I have gotton that feeling too. well I have no advice but, wanted to let you know that it's normal to feel that way..unless we are the only weird women in the world lol....
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LOL that wouldn't be the first time I was called weird! LOL Thank you so much, everything I hear or see from other mothers helps me alot so thank you!
She woke up this morning talking about the school since we were there yesterday to enroll her. That is ALL she wants now, so her excitement tells me that this is the right thing for her.
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Dont feel bad, your not the only one :) I too have to start thinking about preschool soon, and I am just blessed being able to stay home with them for now. I don't want other people raising my children! And at the same time, I completely know where you are coming from when it comes to the feeling of not doing whats "best for her", not doing all the things you "should", not getting enough interaction with kids etc.
I think you did what was right for you, you found a forum where she can spend time that you feel comfortable with, and even if it feels weird that other people will be "handling" her, its a good thing after all, she will get used to not only other kids, but also that other adults actually has to be listened to and that other adults has love and understanding to give, just as mommy and daddy! I think that IS an important part in growing up for our kids to learn to love and respect all people around us :) - EVEN if I STILL don't like the thought of other people raising my little princesses ;)
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If mommy is not happy, no one is happy! The fact is everyone is different. Some need the break and some do not. Some children NEED the activity of daycare so do well without. Do not let someone tell you you are bad or not a good mom, and if she does well with the other kids it works for you both. You have picked a really good school I am sure she will be fine. This comes from a mom that works all night so I do not have to put my child in someone else's care, BUT I do not judge anyone who needs to use them. Do what works best for you and your child and all will be good!
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Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. Like I've said only a mommy can understand a mommy. I talked to my friend last night, she's one that threw her kids in daycare at 4 weeks old. YES 4 weeks and HATES to even be home with them for more then a few hours. Needless to say they are little heathens but she is so cold when it comes to being a mother. I was crying last night and talking to her and her response was.."Just get over it, Kaitlyn isn't special"! I was SO pissed. My daughter is my world, she's made me a better person and I'd give my life for her. Great, I'm crying agian...LOL But, to see her all day playing alone by herself just breaks my heart. I can only be so much of a playmate. Whe gets SO excited to go to the park and be with other children....I'm answering my own questions. It's just SO hard to let go a little I've been with her 24/7 for the past 2.5 years NO breaks so that makes it harder.
Again, thank you all SO much it means the world to have a place to come and talk where people understand! (((((HUGS))))
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Kaitlyn is special, she is part of her mummy and daddy, mummy and daddy are special. Every single child is special and it is a shame more people do not realise that. She is a mini mummy and daddy and sorry but your friend is talking out of her backside. Oh and STOP crying it will upset your little girl and we don't want that now do we? Hugs
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Wow. I felt like I was reading a post I had put up my own self. I don't get along with other women either. My daughter is two and a half and is also not potty trained. I have troubles with depression and anxiety. I've decided to try to homeschool her though. I don't know how well that will go over. I don't know anything about kids. She was the first baby had I ever even picked up!
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Good for you, it sounds like you are making a good choice for you and your daughter. Even though it is hard, and the first week or two will be tough, I bet you'll be glad once you get through the initally anxiety. My son goes to day care part time, I work part time, it is a nice balance, I get to be with "grown ups" have some of my own space, and he gets to be around other kids. The first two week I went with him for an hour, and then left him just an hour building on that, it was good for me to be there and see how he interacted with staff, and they interacted with him. I'm lucky that I still get to go over and pop in sometimes throught the day, or feed him his lunch. He loves his caregivers and they love him. I make a special point to be extra nice to his care givers, inquiring about their day, how their kids are doing... it helps to build that relationship. Good luck...
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My son started preschool a few weeks ago (3 hours 3 mornings a week). He's almost 3 and not potty trained either. I cried when I left him the first day. I've cried when he got sent to the office for biting. But at the same time I've seen him blossom in his social and verbal development. I've also turned into a better mommy because I have time to get my work done for my classes (I teach 2 days a week) and I have time to clean. Now I feel like when he's home I can focus on him and play more and take him to the park more because I don't have e-mails from students and handouts to finish hanging over my head.
It's hard to think of it in the beginning, but like you said, you know it's good for her. Once you see how much she enjoys it and how much she is growing around other kids, it will be easier for you.
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