This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include:
Physical develop...
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Oh..She's sooo small.
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This is a phrase I'm getting all to used to hearing. This isn't really a vent or needing advice, it's just a let's get this out of my head and out into the world and maybe other mom's feel the same thing.
I know they're are moms out there with naturally heavier babies, who take very good care of them and I'm sure hear from people that they are "fat" and cute but it can still be a painful sting. My daughter is petite. She was born just fine 7 lbs 13 0z but has stayed fairly small. She is 16 months old and I don't even think she breaks 25 lbs yet, and that's overestimating. Ever since her birth, I will see people in the store, at the park, where ever and they will notice my little sweetie. They will tell me how beautiful she is, how funny she is, they talk of her big blue eyes. They will ask how old she is and once I tell them, thats when I get the look and the phrase. I'm sure many don't mean it to sound harsh, but I've run across a couple who have said it in such a tactless way I know there was a little bit of put down in the comment. I wonder if people are surprised by her size when they see how overweight I am. Like people expected me to have a tubby baby because I am myself. I think it's sad because we have a lot of over weight children in the world and I grew up as one myself. I know how hard it was going through school, I know how painful it was being made fun of and I know how hard it is to lose the weight as an adult. So upon my daughters birth I set forth on a mission, to get healthy and to feed my daughter well. She doesn't eat candy, she doesn't get fast food. I'm a single mother and work full time and make sure at the end of the day even if I'm eating poorly (which I have to work on I know this) my daughter eats well. I think it's sad that in a world where childhood obesity (I hate that word) is such a concern that people have to lip off about smaller children. I feel like I have to defend her and myself to strangers in a store that I never met. I finally came up with a good line, that it's too bad she's to small because I really wanted to win a blue ribbon at the fair with her this year. In the beginning I worried, that she was too small, her doctor said she is thriving and doing wonderful but I still couldn't shake that feeling of other parents comparing their larger children to my "little" child. I am realizing that it doesn't matter. For whatever reason they are going to say what they are going to say. I know that I am working hard to take care of my daughter, she is happy, healthy and laughing at the end of each day and that is what matters. So weather you have a chubby child or a petite child, I know people say things, but it only matters how you feel about your little and we will always run into people who are insecure about something and feel it's their need to comment regardless if it's not their concern. Posted on 05/09/08, 07:05 pm |
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well if the doctor saids that she fine then i wouldnt worry i have a friend who has a daughter who is every small she is two and she is measure as a 18 month old and wieghs as much a an 9 month so if your doctor thinks she ok then dont worry and oh yes there is something wrong with my friends daughter but still to this day the doctors dont know what it is gofiger 
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If the doctor gives an OK, then everything is OK. However, slow growth can signal some health problems like celiac diease and such, so you can't just ignore it.
And I just want to add a comment from the other side. My best friend is a really BIG woman. Not fat or obese, just of German descent. She is 6'4" and proportional. Her husband is much taller than she is. Big people. So she has a boy, and the kid is all height. I really love this friend of mine, and I know how my comments could sound, and I know she hears it everywhere she goes, but I could not stop myself commenting on how tall he is, many times. Finally, I got it and stopped. Then she had a daughter which is the biggest baby I've ever seen. Large, long, and fat. I know she'll grow out of it just fine, (and the mom knows it too), but the immediate impression strikes me, and I commented for like the third time. I think I'll be fine from now on. Just to prove that people are weak and not to be judged.
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I know from experience that the little ones often grow up to be the biggest child and I don't mean fat or obese. My middle son, Eric, who is now 18 is 6 feet tall and is over 200 pounds. He had some growth problems when he was an infant an toddler. I was told to breastfeed him as long as possible to make sure he got the proper nutrients. Now my 17 month old son is small too. He is barely 20 pounds. I get the looks, the comments, etc. I just smile and say he speaks better than most kids who are 5 months older than him, he understands everything and follows directions like he is 3 years old and as long as his doctor isn't concerned I don't really think its your place to judge. So don't worry about it!!! Hug, Fern
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Well, the next time someone with an "above-average" kid tells me how tiny my kids are I'm going to tell them how fat their kid is. Maybe that will shut them up.
My girlfirend and I were talking about that the other day (her kids are a lot bigger--4yr old is 57 lbs and the 11 month is 23 pounds) and she agrees that my kids are tiny and I tell her that her kids are ginormous....we laugh...glad that we have that kind of relationship LOL
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shoot, I hate to make it sound so easy, but Ignore them. My daughter is a tiny adorable bundle of energy who is perfectly healthy as well. She just turned three, and people think she just turned 2 until they hear her impressive vocabulary. Now, I am almost 6 feet tall so maybe I am just happy to hear the small remarks as I would love to be a little munchkin like she is... plus, she doesn't look emaciated. she is weight/height proportionate. People like to hear themselves talk, and I try to just nod and then keep only the important stuff. ... now about your other issue, have you joined the fitness support group. If you're serious about getting yourself healthy, it might be a great place to start. Now if I could only find a "diet Dr. Pepper anonymous"... I'd be in great shape, lol. Try and stay confident and keep up the hard work of being a mommy.
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My sister is a vegetarian who doesn't believe in immunizations( government conspiracy), formula for babies (poison) or anything not made fresh for her daughter, now 4..her daughter still wears clothes for 24 month olds- but is happy, healthy, and wicked smart,..
i had a daughter 17 months ago and she was 7.33 pounds- i tried to breast feed but as a first timer i panicked when she wouldn't seem to get enough so i went to formula-and she is like you all feel about yours "THE BEST CHILD IN THE WORLD" it's amazing how people thing they have any right to make commments about it- we aren't feeding our children poison, we are blessed enough to live in a country that has really great regulations for food, espcially when it comes to chidren.. saying this- i pray for all of us mothers, that we will have the tact to not get angry or defensie when people butt in- we were given our children on loan from God, and He knows our hearts- He knows we would give our lives in a heartbeat for them..and so if your little one is "too chubby" or too "small"- just remind those people of the size of their hearts.. Opinions are like ass*****- everybody has one,..just keep on keeping on and your kids will thank you - we hope-someday!!
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Oh my God this sounds like my daughter Shelby!!! She is 17 months and 21 pounds (maybe?). What a relief because I do let her eat a little junk just so she can maybe fit in some pants soon..lol Well it's nice to know someone else with this. My brother and I were always well underweight as kids and my mother always got funny looks when we went to beaches and such. YOU cant force your kids to eat just so you fit in a certain percentile of children and toddlers.
What happened that we had to start relying on percentiles, polls, and statistics in order to raise our kids? Isn't being a parent or an innocent child hard enough without some inconsiderate adult commenting on how something isn't the norm with them or us? My daughter also has a strawberry birthmark right under her left eye. YOu wouldn't believe the negative attention that gets her. I am tempted to make buisness size cards and hand them to people explaining that, it is a birth mark not a bruise on her face and yes it does go away..lol Good luck and keep up the good job! YOu sound like a wonderful MOM and your daughter's lucky to have ya!
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I have 2 daughters who both were 7lbs 8oz at birth and both breastfed for at least 3 months. My oldest, who is now almost 6, was between 26-28 pounds at her 1 yr doctor visit. However, my youngest, who will be 3 in November, just hit 28 pounds. I think it all depends on the child.
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Omigosh I hear you on this one! My son is nearly 15 months old and at his last check up he was still just under 20 lbs. I'm hoping that he is maybe 21 or 22 by now, but he has always been tall and thin like his daddy, hovering in the 90's% for his height and around 10% for his weight. Doc says there is nothing to worry about as long as he eats well (does he ever!), but the comments some people drop are just infuriating!
The other day I had a women in the store ask me how old my "daughter" was (he was wearing blue overalls), and then threw in a guess of 8 or 9 months. When I informed her that my SON was 14 months old she looked at me as though I were the one spewing nonsense. Man, I hope stupidity is not contagious!
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Well, Chloe just had her one year checkup ;ast week and she's following in her sisters footsteps.
She weighed in at (drumroll)......18lb 2 oz and that was with a wet diaper. Hopefully she hits 20 pounds soon because I really want to turn her carseat around LOL
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