This community is focused on the joys, challenges and frustrations faced by parents of infants (0 - 12 months). The major areas of child development during this...
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I'm scared!
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My baby is due in 3 weeks now and I'm freaking out so badly. I have never even held a baby in my life! I am 18, and just feel guilty that my son already is at a dis-advantage having a clueless 18 year old as his mother, instead of an older, more experienced woman. I have family support but I'm so scared of being alone with him, I wouldn't know what to do, what if I hurt him, by holding him wrong or something, I'd never forgive myself. I don't feel 'motherly' at all, I feel like he deserves better. I've read posts on here that make me worry because these things would never even enter my head- like about the baby not pooing for days, that never even crossed my mind, he could have gone weeks without pooing and I wouldn't have thought 'Is this right?'... I'm probably going to be on here a lot leaning on as many people as possible when he arrives but I just don't want to cause him damage, and I'm scared of making any desicians incase they're wrong, I'd prefer someone to just tell me what to do. What do I do?! I'm so scared :S
Posted on 05/23/08, 01:05 pm |
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calm down.
it is natural to be scared. I am on #3 and still scared sometimes.. doubting myself, etc... if you love the baby and try to take care of it and learn as much as you can... use that with your instincts. It is not soemthing that smacks you in the face on day one. It takes a while for things to happen adn might even be a little boring at times in the beginning. It is okay... they will be learning you as well. relax... breathe.... 
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I felt the same way when I had my first baby at age 24. Although you may be young, you are the same as many other first time mothers that are scared. I thought the same things! How do I know what to do? Will I be a good mom? Not everything will come naturally and raising children is very hard, but it sounds like you have the support of ur family. Read lots of books, talk to other mothers, and keep reading these posts on DS. You will be fine! And by the way, I still get a little scared having to take care of my 2 girls all by myself!! ( 3yrs & a 10 month old ) GOODLUCK!!!
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i was 18 whenever i had my son and i ws the same way but whenever that baby is in your hands it seems that nothing else in the world matters and all your fears just disapear. trust me cause my baby was born 2 months premature and he only weighed 5 lb. he was tiny but when he was in my arms i felt fearless like nothing in the world could hert me or him.
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I knew a lot about babies when I had my first, so I can't relate to your fears too much, but I just wanted to let you know I'm here to answer any questions you have! I also know that you will be fine - feed him, change him, keep him clean, give him lots of love, talk to him. Get a parenting book like What to Expect the First Year (and there are many others) or read up on the internet to help you feel more prepared. There also might be some parenting classes you can take - ask your dr. Finally, about the pooping thing, if a baby is truly constipated, eventually he is going to let you know by crying and acting very uncomfortable - maybe you wouldn't know what was wrong, but you could take him to the dr. and he would help!
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I agree...you should do fine. Right now you have a lot of hormones racing though your body and the anticipation of the impending arrival is scary. It's scary for all of us. I've had 3 girls and with each one comes a new set of concerns and worries.
You have support of family and that will help. As far as having someone tell you what to do, that isn't going to happen--well, it might, but you are the mother now and need to take action. Most women get a natural instinct as soon as the baby arrives, but if it takes you a while, so be it. The only concern that I would have is postpartum depression. You may be more suseptible to it due to your age and lack of experience with babies. Just remember that it's ok to ask for help when you need it and make sure that you take some time to yourself. The first month or so will be very hectic and you won't get enough sleep, but if you sleep when the baby does it will help. Let us know if you need any advice, we've all been there and know how challenging and exciting it is with a newborn. Maggie
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Guess what! Nobody really knows what they are doing. It is like reading a book on how to swim. Eventually, you just have to get in the water and feel it.
Also, babies are amazingly tough and resilient. You wouldn't believe how they can toss those newborns around in the hospital!!! I was surprised when my first daughter came. But then it occurred to me that this kid just survived the birth canal. Now that is quite an intense trip. The fact that you are seeking advice and support and knowing that you don't know shows how much you care, and CARE is the most important. We are all scared for our children. I go through all sorts of crazy emotions. Eventually, I just have to accept the fact that I don't have any idea what I am doing and I leave the rest to God.
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Thankyou guys, you have re-assured me a lot!! It's great to know that I can come here if I'm stuck or need advice. I am worried about post natal depression too, because I have had pre-natal depression, but I will cross that bridge if and when I come to it (hopefully I won't!!). The feedback here is great, I think you'll all be sick of me in a few months when I'm here everyday with a new worry :p
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have you taken any prenatal or baby care classes? if you haven't, make sure you get lots of teaching from the nurses at the hospital! you'll be fine.
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Well, that is what we are all here for, sweetie. I just joined, and it is nice to just know that I am not a loser mom just because I can't leap tall buildings with a single bound...
(But don't tell my kids... they don't know that yet) :)
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Hey hun,
I have been around babies and young kids all my life and I still had these fears! He is 4mths old already now and he is still bringing questions to me lol.. I still have to ask my mum something nearly every day LOL>> Most things come naturally to you.. My biggest fear was not waking up to him cause nothing wakes me up! He wakes me up now but he is the only thing!(other then Michael jabbing me in the back when I can't seem to getup for Isaiah) LOL.. You will be fine. Things seem to come naturally! No matter what number the child is in a pregnancy there will always be fears of this and that!!! You could look up for books or sites to get tips.. I have this site that emails me about things that bub could be starting to do and things to help. There is a site that I found when I was pregnant and it tells you what is going on in your belly when you are pregnant and then it carrys on through the weeks of your baby I have found it really helpful.. The site is https://www.babycentre.co.uk I really like it.. It tells you learning games you could play with your baby and everything Reen xx
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