Parenting Newborns & Infants (0-1) Support Group

The only advice I had was the cry it out kind. My oldest did the same thing. Except at nite it was horrible. I would rock her to sleep, then gently put her in her crib and pat her little back until she drifted off and sneak out of the room. Not two minutes later she would howl in protest and the whole thing would start over. I finally called my MIL and asked her what I should do. She said to make sure she was clean, dry and fed and let her cry. The first nite she cried for 45 minutes and i cried for an hour. After a week, she was asleep within 10 minutes and I was more rested.

The trick with letting a child 'cry it out" is giving them some tool with which to self soothe. That is what the "crying" process is really all about. They realize mommy is not there to meet their immediate need and start crying, which usually brings us running. A baby needs to learn to soothe himself either with a blanket, a favorite toy or even a pacifier. There are always limits to how long to let a baby cry. You don't want their cries to become hysterical or screams, but you don't want to give in too early either. If the crying starts and stops, that is a good indicator they are soothing themselves and you can let them cry a little longer.

It may feel cruel, but children have to learn to self soothe. What we learn as children follows us into adulthood.

I was just like you. I woudln't let emma cry for more than a minute in her crib. I drove myself into insanity and my mom finally made me sit down outside the door and listen to her cry herself to sleep one day. each day it got a little better and a little better. Now she goes to sleep all on her own after bearly fussing for a few minutes

hang in there

Harley did that too at first. She wouldn't sleep unless one of us was holding her. DH finally had enough of it and started moving out of the room a little at a time. Now we just lay her down with a binky and then stand in the door way facing away from her. She can see us and if we suspect something is wrong, it's an open door way we can just turn around and tend to her. After about two minutes of protests and crys she drifts right off.

We also use a very strict bed time routine. Dinner, play, bath, bottle, book, bed. Unless she's sick we don't deviate. When she was on breathing treatments it was harder, but now it's evened out.

Thanks for all the responses. I think the problem is his reflux. I spoke to the doctor and we are increasing his dosage, it hadn't been increased since March and he's gained 10 pounds since then, so hopefully that will solve the problem. I know a lot of people have found the crying it out method to be a huge help to them, and I think everyone should follow what works for them and feels comfortable to them. I personally don't feel comfortable with it. I've read up on the subject and learned that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and stress hormones. But I have friends that swear by that method and think I'm crazy for not trying it. I think we all just need to find what works for our families. I think, too, that I am coming at this from a different angle than most moms. You tend to be less frustrated with your child's cry when you've had a previous child born in silence. Anyway, thanks for all the advice! I am going to try to stick to a solid bedtime routine and keep my fingers crossed that we get some sleep soon!

My son is 2months old and wont sleep either. I have worked with many kids and have done the cry it out thing but the books I have read since having my own have all left me with the understanding that I should attend to him for the first 6 months as soon as possible. I spoke to his doctor and she said that he could cry for a half an hour but I too have not been able to bring myself to do it. I really don't have any suggestions as I am learning myself, but the doctor did recommend a book Healthy Sleep Habbits Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth MD. I haven't got it yet but it may help.

I should have been more specific. My daughter was seven months old when i let her cry it out. I would suggest that parents tend to their child's needs on demand up to that point. And yes, babies stress when they are left to cry it out, thus the need to learn to self soothe. If they are constantly looking to you to take care of their needs, they never learn to take care of their own emotional needs. Personally I feel this is irresponsible. I want my kids to be self sufficient in life. Not looking to others to fill the void mother left .