Parenting 'Tweens (9-12) Support Group

Have you noticed her grades slipping since you and your hubby have been having marital problems. I only ask because my son is a very good student but when I made his dad leave due to infidelity issues his grades ended up dropping.

I know you have other things to do other then sit with her when she is doing her homework but I can say that no matter what else I have to do I sit with my son during homework time as it helps him focus a bit better.

I am here if you need to talk. I have been having issues with my son lately but I think its because of the age and the fact that puberty is knocking on the door. Good luck to you

My daughter went through a period of having difficulty with school and having an attitude from hell. After losing privelages and a constant reminder to do her best-she is doing much better. I ask her grades from each class weekly. I have her show me her homework and if she needs help-I will help but NOT do her homework like she sometimes expect. Hang in there-keep up the praise on good behavior and grades.

Yes, lostnlone, i have noticed that her grades were slipping since her dad and i were having problems, but they weren't that bad. she has also had to go through this transition from switching this year from grade school to middle, which is very difficult cause they do expect way too much from them at this age. but she has also had other problems in the past. plus some of the kids at the beginning of the year was just so mean to her(before her dad and i were having problems.) some of the other problems we have encountered in the past is: she has had three eye surgeries before she had started kindergarten...found out in 1st grade that she is deaf in one ear and there is nothing the doctors can do to fix it.
i work midnight shift so it is hard for me to divide my time up to sit with them completely and "watch" them do their homework. i have to try and catch up with house work and dinner time too. plus try to find time to sleep....i do try and check their work...as far as checking her grades, the school has this site that i can get on and check her grades online...
thanks for the replies...

Yeah my son also transitioned into middle school this year and it has been quite interesting at times. I know what you mean by kids teasing and being mean at this age also.

Try positive reinforcement for the good grades that she does get.I also agree that they give these kids alot of work and responsibility at this age, and they don`t get a whole lot of praise from the teachers.

I wish you the best. Just think most schools are almost done for this year.

are past eye/ear problems coming back or worsening? Has she been tested for learning disabilities? Does she know how to organize her work and prioritize school work? My best friend was always getting into trouble in school and her grades fell horribly when we treansitioned into middle school. A teacher took an interest in what was going on and it was discovered she was mildly dyslexic and had problems with not knowing how to organize and prioritize, and needed new glasses. When these issues were dealt with, grades came back up. It looked like she wasn't trying, and maybe she had started to give up. If you're trying your hardest and you still can't learn, I think I might eventually give up too!

yes, angie21, we have her checked yearly for her eye/ear problems, this is really the first year she has struggled so badly. i think that with the transition from one school to the other plus kids at school picking on her at times, and with her dad and i having marital problems, it has just put a strain in everything. there are days that are really good....i keep hoping they get better everyday, but there are still some days that are not good, but they are fewer and farther in between

Just wanted to remind everyone of the parentwarrior website!
http://www.parentwarrior.com
It has loads of great information!!!

I know it is hard to find enough hours in the day, but it sounds to me like she is just begging you for some one on one attention. The laundry and dishes can wait. Sit your child for 1-15, even 30 minutes while she does her homework. I have been a single mother of two working two jobs, so I know it isn't easy to do everything but it can be done. Put more priority on the kids and less on the house. Would you rather have a dirty house or a child that feels neglected?

im with lant on this one.
sometimes my housework has to wait for days because i have work and then one of the kids needs me to do school work or listen to them read or we might just have a walk out. i couldnt care less if theres a few dishes in the sink, or i need to vacuum as long as the kids are seen to first.
as for what the kids acheive at school i tell them to do there best, i will help them all i can but its up to them at the end of the day. i couldnt care if they were bottom of the class as long as they were trying their best!

maybe she has PMS? about school- ask the school for help for her. I knwo my daughters school is very good about this.