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Phy...
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older child sick of twins
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We have a 4 year old (she'll be 5 in July) daughter who is a fairly well behaved child, and has always been mommy's girl.
She was excited about the twins, and has always been good with them..until lately. They (boy and girl) are 6 months, and are fairly good babies (not colicky or anything). I am nursing both of them. She seems to be sick of them. Her attitude has changed to the point where she won't listen to us. She is being rude and disrespectful to us and has actually started into the 'I don't like you' routine. She is also getting rougher with them when she is playing with them....which she likes to do a lot (thankfully). This has all started sort of overnight about 2 weeks ago. We both are making an extra effort to spend time with her, but there is only so much time in the day! I think she is just sick of them and me spending time with them....she used to have me all to herself. Has anyone else been through this? What did you do to make it better for the older child? Help...I don't know what else to do! Posted on 05/14/08, 11:05 pm |
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Sorry to hear about your problem. I think that she is wanting more attention and will take negative or positive attention from you.
Does she get outside playtime? I found that if my girls don't get outside time everyday they tend to act up more than normal. I don't have twins, but my last 2 are 15 months apart and I didn't have any problems with any of the girls adjusting to the new one. I know that time is limited and you have a lot on your plate, but maybe try to read her a story before you nurse the babies or pop in a movie and all of you sit together and watch while you feed the babies. Are you able to give her a job to do, such as getting a diaper or a cracker for the babies? Maybe if she had a "job" it might help. HTH, Maggie 
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My twins get a lot of attention because people are fascinated with 2 people who look alike. I discovered that my older son was acting out because of the attention. I now ignore comments or when people say Oh you have twins, I just say I have 3 litle boys. I took him on an overnight trip just the 2 of us. I also let him stay up for 30 minutes after his brothers go to bed. I have found that all of this extra attention has minimized his acting out. I nursed all of my children. I would remind my older son that he nursed 1st and now it was his brothers turn. I would give him little jobs to do like getting a blanket for me. This also made him feel important.
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Have her help out more with their daily needs. And giove her her own space where only her things are
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I think this is typical 4 year old behavior. My 4 year old son starting acting this way about 2 months ago. He has a one year old brother who he wants to play with but is very rough with him. He wants to be very independent but to the point of doing what he wants whenever he wants. I say black and he says white. It's easier said then done, but sometime I ignore it, if he gets real bad, he sits in his room for a time out. We let him stay up longer then his little brother so we have our time together and then we talk about the day. Hate to tell you but it is not something that will just go away. We try to avoid the behavior by learning what is going to start it.
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My good friends daughter was five when my daughter and I were staying with them off and on and had INTENSE jealousy if her mother talked to me or my daughter too much...I think it's a possessive phase. She would be so excited for us to come over and then get really angry if we stayed more than 20 minutes or so.
Does she have a 'job' or role in taking care of the twins? That might nelp.. Kristin
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