Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

Oh I'm very sorry for what you're all going through. It has to be difficult for her to understand all of this. I would suggestion no medication but possibly counseling for her? Maybe she just needs an unbiased person to vent to and even to teach her how to cope with this. I hope it works for her!

Hi Alicat,
My heart goes out to both you and your daughter. I agree with ske003 that counseling may be helpful. Have you also considered counseling for yourself? From personal experience I've found it to be beneficial. I wouldn't completely rule out medication, there are some that have few side effects if a low dosage is given. It may give your daughter the boost she needs to deal with all of this.

I agree wholeheartedly on the counseling! The meds there must be something out there her doctor canrecommend on a low dosage. When my daughter was younger i instituted Girls Day Out where we went out and did stuff together. The difference (since it's only you two to begin with) is surprise her by giving her the day off from school or pull her out early to do it. The ex is a schmuck for not realizing what a loving daughter it sounds like he has!!!! I'll say aprayer for the two of you.

Dear Alicat,
So sorry to hear your daughter is so sad. My sons father hasn't had contact in over 3 years. We don't even know where he is. My son said one day "I guess my Dad doesn't want me any more", my heart broke. We started writing down 5 good things, or people in our lives every night. We did it together, 5 each. It forced us both to be positive before the day ended. It feel it helped. You might want to buy her a journal, and encourage her to write her feelings down. It's good to get them out of your head.
Hope things improve. Best of luck.
Jackie

You are so correct, we can't change their stupidity and no matter how much we want to we can't be everything for our kids just like no one can be that for us. I agree with the suggestion of counseling - I would try that for awhile before considering medication - I might be slammed for saying this, I do know depression is real but I do believe that it is over diagonsed and not always correct. Of course right now she's depressed - she's going through alot! Take the normal teenage stuff that's hard enough to deal with and add onto it - who wouldn't be down? Is it call for medication? I think that's a 50/50 shot and only you know your daughter well enough to make that call.

I am divorcing as well, have been seperated since Nov 05... he's a putz that only calls when it 'suits' him - my 17 year old has all but completely written him off at this point. My 14 year old waits with bated breath to hear from him. They both go through incredible mood swings and into depression because of the situation. My eldest gets very anggry at his lies and lack of being a parent whereas my youngest blames me and thinks I'm the one who's done everything wrong. Both get so down and emotional they very well could be considered for medication and I could be very wrong here and screwing them up further but I view the depression as situational and I'm there for them to consol or be the punching bag, in it's course will fix itself. Having the opportunity to watch two of them go through this and be at different ends of the spectrum has done a ton to solidify my views on this. It's hard and something we never wanted for our kids - the best we can do is be there for them in whatever the capacity they let us. With having two you'd think they'd at least have eachother to lean on but they are each alone in their situations because they fight over their views. I have tried to get both my girls to journal - neither will, older one has taken to poetry and the younger writing songs - I will say once they started the activities there was an improvement - not a fix all, not anything earth shattering but getting some of it outta their heads definatly helped. If she's not already as JMEL said - try to encourage her. With the venues the girls chose they viewed them as 'ok for the public eye' and wow, they're feelings are nothing less than staggering, my suggestion if your daughter goes a public route with writing is to make sure you don't show surprise at what she wrote else it might be the end of getting a glimse into her thoughts. That knowledge given as been a huge help in learning how to deal with each's emotions and understanding on where they are coming from.

GL - feel free to contact me if you want to chat. Just know your not alone and you both will get through this.