Adolescence is the period of psychological and social transition between childhood and adulthood (gender-specific, manhood, or womanhood). Someone in Adolescenc...
|
How to deal with 16 yr. old daughter.
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts |
My daughter ia 16 and basically a good kid. She is normally respectful and doesn't sass or back talk. She has a learning disability in reading and writing and has had some difficulty in school. She quit this year, and I'm looking into home schooling at this time.
Anyway, the problem is that she has started sneaking out in the middle of the night. I have tried everything that I know, short of calling the police or going to counseling. I've taken away all privileges, her tv, cell phone, computer, I have yelled, cried, threatened, pleaded, let her know what all could happen to her, explained how worried this makes me, I've gotten angry, scared, worried, and she continues to do it. I can't find out where she goes, though she tells me what is obviously lies. I do know someone picks her up about a block away, and drops her off. I've never been able to catch them. It's to the point where I can't even sleep at night anymore or she might sneak out. I've taken off her door, put outside locks on her window, and have now got to the point of someone (me, or one of her 2 older brothers.) has to sit up all night on "guard". I am at my wits end. Can anybody help? Posted on 05/11/08, 04:05 pm |
| 8 Replies | Add Your Advice |
| View More Posts |
Put her door back up and lock it from the outside? Honestly the only thing I can think of is yeah - get the cops involved - maybe there's a way one of the boys could get the lic. plate # or at the very least make and model and call the cops let her be picked up. It might be your only shot to figure out what's going on and try to solve it. I can only come up with either a guy or drugs for late night outings... a guy - really an older one only makes sense there... GL 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Don't lock her in her room with no way out. That is not safe in case of fire or other disaster. Not safe at all. What I say is motion detector BRIGHT flood lights pointed right at her window for the motion, and the lights pointed right into your windows. I also suggest bells and any other noisemakers for her window when it opens, placed on her windows outside her windows on the ground, an alarm. I also suggest that you camp out in her room at night. Yeah not nice or even comfy but part of being a parent is doing what's hard. That or put her a twin bed in your room with noisemakers on the floor in front of her bed. An alarm on your door and windows. And I'd make it real clear to her what the consequences are going to be if she continues. Such as and not limited to when you do find out who it is you'll charge them with whatever you can, I'd also take her for drug testing, and a pelvic exam and all STD testing if you think that she might be active in that manner. It's hard. But that's what I would do if my son was sneaking out. He'd get to camp out in my room until he could prove he is trustworthy again.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Seems I offended and wasn't clear enough the first sentence was more joking since after I stated "Honestly the only thing I can think is..." my apologies. Can't say I'd 'camp out' myself because yeah raising kids is hard but if we've taught 'em right from wrong - they still continue to display behavior they know is unacceptable after many attempts to stop them it... just sounds like they're not going to get it from us and maybe someone 'from the outside' would have a better chance of breaking through the wall. Course just my thoughts and again GL.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I wasn't offended. I thought you might be joking but wasn't sure. If you find out it's an older guy I'd be sure to let the authorities know. I am again happy to say I have a son (it does seem to come with a few less worries then girls)...
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I agree with putting in motion detectors & flood lights! Or, hire someone to follow her and get the license plates. Then, get the police involved because I'm betting it's someone older that she's afraid to tell you about!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Since she is sneeking out in the middle of the night, my bet is that it is an older guy. Someone who knows if he gets caught with her he will go to jail. maybe one of the nights she sneeks out you should call the cops and have them pick her up and bring her to the station.. scare her into seeing what she is doing is not a good idea. I wish I had better advice for you, but I do wish you good luck.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
The cops wont do anything.
The age of consent is 16 in most states and 14 in others.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
locking her up will just make it worse. have you sat down with her and told her that you are terrified for her safety, especially because she is sneaking off? explain to her that she could seriously get hurt by doing this. kids that are 16, usually think they have all the answers and that they are adults, depsite what we say. the more that you try to tie her to the house, the more the outside influence, that has her doing this, will tell her that you are being overbearing, etc. tell her if there is someone that she is wanting to see so badly,she can bring them by the house. they usually sneak out for 1. a troubled friend, 2. drugs, booze, sex, or all of the above. 3. they do not feel that they can bring their friends home, 4. they feel the friend may not be accepted. 5. its probably a guy and they are sexually intimate.
tell her that you suspect that she is having sex and hope that she is using protection, not only from getting pregnant but also from the various stds, out there. see if your sons cant trail her one night. instead of having them openly sitting up waiting for her, have one of them sit outside somewhere where they can see her sneak out, but where they will not be seen. have them follow her and get a licence #, see who it is that she is seeing. tell her that you feel she is normally agreat kid and you dont understand why the secrecy now, tell her to come clean and try to listen, with an open heart to what she has to say but tell her if she wants you to understand, then she has to tell the truth. tell her as long as you know the truth you would not be as worried. then when you find out who he is and what they are up too, kick his butt, lol, seriously, though , i agree with chris, only a much older guy would have her sneaking out, good luck
|
|
|
|
||
About 2 1/2 years ago, my 16 year old daughter got caught sneaking out her window at night. She had been staying out …
I have a 14 yr old son who collects panties. I found some last year througout my home in different places. I thought …
My 16 year old son has a friend, and it's someone who he's been telling me about since the beginning of the school …
