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Oh..She's sooo small.
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This is a phrase I'm getting all to used to hearing. This isn't really a vent or needing advice, it's just a let's get this out of my head and out into the world and maybe other mom's feel the same thing.
I know they're are moms out there with naturally heavier babies, who take very good care of them and I'm sure hear from people that they are "fat" and cute but it can still be a painful sting. My daughter is petite. She was born just fine 7 lbs 13 0z but has stayed fairly small. She is 16 months old and I don't even think she breaks 25 lbs yet, and that's overestimating. Ever since her birth, I will see people in the store, at the park, where ever and they will notice my little sweetie. They will tell me how beautiful she is, how funny she is, they talk of her big blue eyes. They will ask how old she is and once I tell them, thats when I get the look and the phrase. I'm sure many don't mean it to sound harsh, but I've run across a couple who have said it in such a tactless way I know there was a little bit of put down in the comment. I wonder if people are surprised by her size when they see how overweight I am. Like people expected me to have a tubby baby because I am myself. I think it's sad because we have a lot of over weight children in the world and I grew up as one myself. I know how hard it was going through school, I know how painful it was being made fun of and I know how hard it is to lose the weight as an adult. So upon my daughters birth I set forth on a mission, to get healthy and to feed my daughter well. She doesn't eat candy, she doesn't get fast food. I'm a single mother and work full time and make sure at the end of the day even if I'm eating poorly (which I have to work on I know this) my daughter eats well. I think it's sad that in a world where childhood obesity (I hate that word) is such a concern that people have to lip off about smaller children. I feel like I have to defend her and myself to strangers in a store that I never met. I finally came up with a good line, that it's too bad she's to small because I really wanted to win a blue ribbon at the fair with her this year. In the beginning I worried, that she was too small, her doctor said she is thriving and doing wonderful but I still couldn't shake that feeling of other parents comparing their larger children to my "little" child. I am realizing that it doesn't matter. For whatever reason they are going to say what they are going to say. I know that I am working hard to take care of my daughter, she is happy, healthy and laughing at the end of each day and that is what matters. So weather you have a chubby child or a petite child, I know people say things, but it only matters how you feel about your little and we will always run into people who are insecure about something and feel it's their need to comment regardless if it's not their concern. Posted on 05/09/08, 07:05 pm |
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It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. You just have to get accustomed to people opening their mouths and letting whatever falls out--and it's usually insulting. They probably don't realize it, though.
I am not sure how my youngest will be on the weight yet, but she was born at 5+ pounds (full gestation). She's got the most delectable chubby cheeks, so the fact that she actually is a little petite right now doesn't quite get noticed as much. My older daughter, at age 7.5, in comparison to her classmates is a peanut. She still has the ability to fit into 4T / 5T clothing and she is wiry. People have guessed her age from being anywhere between 4 and 6. It's never bothered me because I know I won't have to worry about her being overweight and unhealthy. She is as active as a race horse (though hopefully she won't get shot on the track when she sprains an ankle...). We've got small genes in my family, apparently. The comments will never stop...because people will never change. They have the inherent need to advise and comment regardless of the recipient's feelings. I am sure some clever retorts on your part might give them some incentive to think twice before commenting on the physical shape and size of other people's children. Cheers! Debbie 
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My son is like that too. He is 2 1/2 and skinny. He eats (most of the time, but he is 2 so he has his picky times :o) ) and he is so very active that he burns the calories like mad. We had to go to the dr so many times to "make sure" i was feeding him! It was so humiliating. Of course I feed him, I wanted to shout to every nurse and dr. Ugh. I understand.
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My kids are all very petite as well...no pants fit them because they have no butts or waists to hold them up. At least it's getting warmer so they can wear pants that fit the waist (too short though) so I call all their pants capris LOL
Savannah is 4-1/2 and weighs 33 pounds (6lb 8oz at birth); Sophie is 25 months and weighs 23 pounds (6lb 4 oz birth); and Chloe is 9 months weighs 16 lb 3 oz (5lb 15oz at birth). I think that most people are just used to big kids nowadays. You are doing just fine though.
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My son is little too; I have noticed formula fed babies are generally bigger than breastfed babies, which is not neccessarily a good thing. As long as our kids grow, however slowly, & continue to learn new things & develop mentally, then there should be no cause for concern - or comment.
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I don't think this is a formula or breast fed issue. All of my girls were breastfed for a few months and then formula fed, and they are still tiny.
That statement makes me feel like you view me as a bad mom for using formula, which I hope isn't the case. The obesity epidemic doesn't have anything to do with how an infant is fed. It has to do with how active they are--probably starting in toddlerhood--and how much and what they eat. Infants need to be fed and fed often in order to grow. I do agree with your statement that as long as the developmental goals are being met then there's nothing to worry about.
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I am a grandmother raising my g/s. My g/s is 19 months old and weighs only 24 lbs. The doctor used to comment that he was unde average weight up until his last visit. She said he was just about normal weight, but he is above average in his height so he appears thin. He eats well. Three meals and snacks in between, but I must say I do watch the sweets. It sounds to me like your child is fine. Don't worry what people think. Obesity runs in my family and I'm glad that my g/s is not overweight!
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Isnt it funny how people feel they can just say anything to yo about a child>? I have the same issue, I am not small by any means and my daughter is 2o months old and just broke 21 lbs. I get asked all the time, is she 1 yrs old? She is not skinny, she is petite and eats just about as good as you could ask a child her age to eat! I just smile and say, yes, she got lucky and is smaller than her mom! LOL...I know how hard it is especially when you feel like someone is implying you are neglecting your child! These people are ignorant in my eyes, just try and ignore them!
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Maggie, I'm an even worse mom than you since I used formula from the start with both girls. Never breastfed. If there's a hell..I guess, I'm going.
But seriously, the size of children and its correlation with being formula fed or breastfed is a myth. There was some lady in Target (it's always Target with me) who asked how old Ellorie was when she was about nine months old. She was still in her baby carrier due to her 'petiteness'. Because I felt obligated to ask how old her children were (though I didn't really care, I just wanted to get paper towels) and she told me her youngest was the same age as Ellorie. This kid was in a regular stroller and looked about twelve, I swear it. I did the bad thing and said, "She's so tall!" I couldn't help it because she did not look to be the same age as Ellorie. The girl wasn't chunky...she was just really tall. She told me that all breastfed babies get big like hers. (Ummm...maybe ones on breast milk steroids...) I am no scientist or medical professional, but I have a feeling that as long as our children are eating healthy and they seem energetic and happy, then they are fine no matter if they seem slight or a bit chunky. There's not much that can be done about genetics.
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I guess she just wanted to let you know that she was better than you because she breastfed.
My gf has 2 girls, the oldest is Savannahs age (1 week apart) and she weighs 53 pounds...yes 53 on a 4-1/2 yr old. Her youngest is 4 weeks older than Chloe and at 9 months weighed 21 pounds, roughly the weight of my 2 yr old. She breastfeeds exclusively, not the 4yr old of course--that would be another topic in itself, eeeewwww--but she just has big kids. I do like to tease her about it though, and she teases me about mine. She insists that I never feed them and that she is going to report me to CPS for malnourishment and neglect LOL My smartass remark back is "Bitch"...yeah, well, one day my brain will return and I will think of kickass comebacks in a timely manner...it doesn't pack the same punch when you think of something 3 days later. Also, when kids get older, no one will be able to tell if they nursed or were fed formula;however, they will be able to tell if they were cuddled and read to. Keep up the good work ladies!!
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My daughter is 21 months in 2 days and weighs about 28 pounds. (12.6 kg the last time I weighed her.) She is pretty skinny, but quite tall: 85 cm at 20 months which is in the 90th percentile. Her weight is only in the 75th percentile. So she's definitely light for her height. Luckily, because she's tall, I don't get many comments. People don't seem to "mind" skinny if they're tall with it.
People are extremely rude, so don't worry about it. Your girl sounds like she has a great mommy. She's lucky to have a good mom like you and don't let anybody tell you any different.
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