Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

Hi Everyone...I just joined tonight. I'm attempting to explore the freedom of being a single (i.e. not married) woman living on my own, but I've found it challenging. I was wondering, is it remotely possible to find an attractive, single man (about 30) who is interested in refraining from sex until marriage? I managed to remain abstinent for about 5 years due to extinuating circumstances, but once I started dating again I found myself in a relationship with a man who said he'd be willing to wait, but I eventually gave into the temptation and he didn't bother stopping me. I enjoy having sex, but I also want to keep my relationship with God in good condition. Right now, it's not good at all because of sin. I've given myself to another man who I really don't see a bright future with. Quite frankly, I want to get out of the relationship. It's gotten so far that he probably expects me to keep sleeping with him - even though deep down I really don't want to. To further complicate the matter, our relationship is long distance now! He may fly in a month or two from now expecting to have sex with me.

After a bit of introspection, I realized the only way I've been able to abstain successfully is to avoid having intimate relationships with men all together. This is frustrating though since I want to be in an intimate relationship with a man who will hug, moderately kiss and wrestle with me without it being a prelude to sex - even if many months pass.

Does this type of guy exist? Is he educated? Does he have a good, honest job? Am I fooling myself by believing this IS possible? Am I the one to blame? (I can't be responsible for both of our actions especially if I'm feeling vulnerable.)

I guess I'm supposed to live like a nun or monk until the blessed man who God sends to find me comes along.

Does anyone have suggestions for me? I am horribly frustrated by this cycle of abstinence, celibacy, fornication, and repentence that I continue to follow.
Posted on 07/13/08, 03:07 am