Why is Virginity so Important?
This is not a question of morality - I know God wants us to save ourselves for "the one". What I find to be …
Sexual abstinence is the practice of voluntarily refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity. Common reasons to deliberately abstain from the physical expression of sexu...

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am i a virgin?
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i know this is kinda long and stupid but this is a true realy a true story from my life. when people ask me if i am a virgin i tell them that i am not but at the same time i might as well be. i consider a true non-virgin as someone who has had sexual intercourse, not including oral sex or sex with yourself but based on my own standards i still don't now if i am or not. the reason i say i'm not a virgin is because of the one time when was a freshman in college. i met a much older guy who worked for my school and that same day he was snuck into my dorm room and he begged me if he could spend the night because he would have to walk a very long way home and the buses did not run that way. i believed him and he turned out to be telling the truth but thats not the point anyway. we started talking then he made advances and we started kissing and groping. i don't want to get to graphic but one thing lead to another and we ended up naked. then we proceded to have oral sex. he did me first then but i really did not want to do him but i did lick it but he tried to force it in my mouth and i didn't let it in. then my memory gets kinda fussy but he put the tip of the head in me and i was seriously shocked (i know i was stupid) and i pushed him off of me and said no and at this point i was extremely turned off that he did not want to use protection so that like ruined the prospects of me ever having sex with him ever. i felt awkward, disgusted and foolish and thankful at the same time that he didn't take advantage of me and that i didn't have to kill him and ruin his and my life. that was the closet contact that i've ever had with a real live penis even til this day. because of those feelings i felt i just felt like i lost my virginity. i suppose thats how it would feel anyway for someone like me and so i say i'm not a virgin.
Posted on 04/28/08, 11:04 am |
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I would say you're a virgin. But why worry so much about the label?
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I don't think it matters. But, I don't think you aren't a virgin. No penis met vagina. Not completely virginal but still a virgin. I hope that makes sense. But, I gotta say, not the smartest move to let him stay.
But if you are comfortable with saying no I'm not a virgin, I would suggest that you complete the statement with however I don't have a lot of experience. Personally I don't consider myself a virgin either because of a series of rapes that occurred when I was a very small child. Some people would say that I am a virgin but you can't grow a hymen back not matter how much you wish you could. I just say I've been celibate for a very long time and what experience I did have just doesn't matter anymore.
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your a virgin. to not be one, you would have to be willing and it wasnt comeplete intercoarse.
and it sounds to me like that was against your will. remember though, it doesnt matter what other people think of you. Everyone makes mistakes, and people should be understanding of that.
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what you say is right. i really really did not want to have sex that night. i wasn't ready on any level. it all kinda just happened so fast i guess. but that was such a long time ago when i was first entering the world on my own alone. its not so much as the label itself its just knowing you know. i thought i wasn't a virgin anymore but then after telling so many people that i wasn't then hearing their experiences i just feel like i still am compared to them or i might as well be cuz the next time i'm with someone they might not tell the difference if i say i am. i guess now i feel like i have been lying these past few years to all the people i have talked to about this. i hate being a lyer. lying about things makes me feel so guilty even if its something innocent.
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as one of my friends said to me after i was raped: whether you are or aren't a virgin isn't what is so important. God can forgive anyting. What is important is if you are living virginally (meaning purely) not. Living virginally is actually more impressive than just being a virgin.
I don't know where the line is. My mother got pregnant with me through heavy petting (yes, this can happen-- look it up, that's what we have the internet for). Was she a virgin? She believes she was, but I bet if you asked anyone that knew here than they would say she wasn't. She told me she didn't really care, because she came clean before God and the label no longer mattered.
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You will find out when you have real sex for the first time that you are still a virgin because he didn't break your hymen, he didn't open your walls, and its going to hurt very much when you have sex.
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To me it sounds like you were in a dangerous situation and are lucky that he did not try to rape you (and with him forcing himself on you, it sounds like he tried to start). You are definitely technically a virgin since you did not have intercourse. I do think that virginity is somewhat a state of mind as well, and in this sense I see how you could think that you have lost it. I wish you the best.
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