Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

I do have my limits. If he was a pimp, I'm not interested in his new found faith. If he had a few girlfriends that would be ok. But, I would really prefer someone that has waited too. I to realize that I may have to go younger to get that. I may be looking at nice 25 year olds. It is not hugely important to me if they are a virgin. If he had been married before and widowed that would be ok. A less than perfect sexual past is not an automatic deal breaker for me, but it is for a lot of people.

i would like to have a guy that has waited for our marriage bed, but at this age it is very unlikely i will find one who hasn't been involved with at least one sex partner. if he is honest with me about it and has proven his faithfulness and is disease free of course, i would be willing to see what God has for me no matter their past.

I would also really really hope to find someone who has waited. It is something that has become a huge part of who I am and what I believe in, and it requires a lot of strength on my part. I would hope to find someone who worked that hard for me too. But I agree, the odds are not on my side, so I think if I really had feelings for the guy and I know we are honest and true to each other, I would have to be ok with his sexual past, as long as it isn't off the wall crazy.

It does not matter to me..I know as a female that males are most likely to have been more previously sexually active...as long as that person has committed their life to God and a life of purity and seeking forgiveness in the area of fornication and is living a life of chastity in our relationship and has become a "born-again virgin"..its fine with me...i however will not marry someone or date someone who has an std

hi, as a recently separated women, and having had sex myself, i would have to say that it is fine!!
i mean, i would never marry anyone who was not a Christian, and i am saving myself for that person....but, i, too have a not so great sexual past from my teen years.

I would constantly wonder if I were being compared to the previous women... I don't know if I could handle that. :-(

It is important to me to feel that my future mate will be celibate and wait for me. If a guy and I are considering one another for life-long commitment or marriage, and I prefer to be celibate, which I do, I will expect the same from him. Otherwise, what I have told my present romantic interest is that if he needs to meet his sexual needs with someone else to go be responsible to her. I won't date him any more.

It feels comfortable for me to be with someone who has waited for me.
It's a deal-breaker if she has not waited.
Course, the world's imperfect. And the chances are relatively low for getting what I want in this :-(.
So, I want to trust in G-d that things will work out as they're supposed to for me. If I'm to feel a connection with someone who hasn't waited... maybe I'll be capable of "forgiveness" within myself that I didn't think I was capable of before.

that's a good point Searching... and I had not thought of that. Thanks for bringing that up.

This may or may not help. I waited for marriage, 27 years! My husband has been with four women (i think of them as something less than that) before he met me. It hurts me terribly EVERYDAY. He has cried and begged for forgiveness and I have to a degree. I don't freak out anymore and batter him with my hurt. But now, so close to our first anniversary, I can't feel comfortable with him physically. I am obsessed with these other people and how I will ever compare. I cry sometimes because I will never understand why he didn't value our marriage enough to hold out for it. I know he didn't know me and he tries desperately to reassure me constantly. I just can't bring myself to be ok. My hope and constant prayer is that one day I will be ok and have a sexual moment with my husband that is free and comfortable. My advice for anyone in this situation is to seriously consider how important this specific value is to you. If you are a person who doesn't let go easily or is not completely self-confident to begin with you might want to think about waiting for someone else. I have chosen my path and no matter how painful, I know I have to trust God to lead me through because I am just not able to by myself. If it's not to much to ask, please say a little prayer for me and my sanity!!